Shit students buy with their course-related costs
Course-related costs: a generous $1k that StudyLink allocates the tertiary students of Aotearoa to spend on necessities such as printing fees, specialist equipment, and other essentials to get us through study. Without this sweet grand I get every year, I’d probably be textbook-less each semester. However, there’s always a few students that, well, just wanna buy some random shit! Honestly, why the fuck not. Massive spoke to anonymous students, both past and present, about their outrageous purchases.
Before we get into the fun, it’s worth noting that this is small minority of students, and that course related costs are generally used for, well, course-related costs. But also, this is literally a loan they’ll have to pay back anyway. We’re on a floating rock in the middle of space. Does anything really matter?
Meredith bought her Corgi named McDreamy, which she claims to be her ‘literal child’.
Princess OG Kush took a 4-day trip to Amsterdam where she got to smoke the dankest marijuana and fulfill her namesake to its fullest potential.
Rory had nasty neighbours that liked to bottle her house, her dog, and any nearby birds for fun. Rory’s rage built up to a boiling point. She decided to purchase a fuck-tonne of cheap sex toys from Wish and throw them into the neighbour's windows and around their house. They never found out it was her. If someone bottled my dog, I’d do the same thing.
Chloe bought a chicken coop under the ‘specialist course equipment’ category, cos why the fuck not?
Anahera’s now husband used his course-related costs to buy her engagement ring. They’ve been together for nine years, which supports the classic statement ‘you can’t put a price on love’.
Marcus and his whole flat dumped each of their $1k into GameStop. Risky business, I must say. Luckily, they each made $2k back purely on selling. That’s kind of a turn on ngl, we love a man who goes big or goes home.
Just when Lily thought she was gonna lose the plot, her Maine Coon cat waltzed into her life. She had to have that kitty cat. Pussy power has never been stronger.
Hailey splurged on VIP tickets to Justin Bieber in 2017. And we all know 2017 was when Justin Bieber was at his sexiest. Lucky bitch.
Tane over here thought he’d make it big on a Wellington Phoenix game, betting the entire $1k. He lost. That’s gotta sting, my bro.
Two ounces of weed and a 4k TV is all Mary-Jane needed to make her little heart happy. You know what? Good for her. You go, queen. You probably provide the best sleepovers, and I’d love an invite.
Wareti, a badminton player, was getting bored. When he saw a new Airsoft store opened up in Wellington, he became hooked and convinced himself shooting sports was his purpose on this planet. $800 later, he returned home with an air-rifle, BBs, and tactical gear. Two months later, he quit the sport and returned to badminton.
Horse girls, we all know them. The girls who pretended to be ponies in primary school and pissed us off when they’d chase us round the field, neighing like fucking lunatics. Tori never grew out of it, using her $1k to purchase a real horse and make her primary school dreams come true. Sucks that the horse was a massive bitch.
Why are banjos better than guitars? They burn longer. Yup, Tania really decided the best use of her money would be a fucking banjo.
One night, Harry was feeling particularly cheeky. However, a quick fuck didn’t seem like the way to be satisfied in that moment. With a lazy grand in the bank account, Harry stumbled down to the nearest strip club, spending the whole shabam on dancers and alcohol. Harry, ya fucking hornbag.
So, you know how that horse girl literally bought a horse? Keith took it to a whole new level. Keith became the horse, investing in enough ket to set him up for the uni year. Oh, and 15 posters of P Diddy. Yeah, I have about as much idea as you do about that purchase.
This bastard had no choice really. Not only did the grand come in handy for paying Luke’s many government-issued police fines, but it also provided to be a very helpful payment method for legal advice in order to get out of said fines. Slow down, Mr. Drifta. Just rev your engine a few times and the panties will drop.
Every year, Cam puts his entire costs on a single NBA game. Hey, I’ll give it to him, the guy knows how to gamble. Three out of four games won. I’ll call him up next time I’m at the TAB.
My precious friend Penny was extremely peckish one week. Just ravenous, wanting to eat and eat until she burst. It’s no wonder that she spent $700 purely on eating out, which equates to $100 every day. No one likes going hungry.