Fantastic Freshers and where to find them

As the sun rises over Massey University’s vibrant (and occasionally damp) ecosystem, assorted species of students gather on campus. With the new year comes new breeds of Freshers, all proudly sporting their Massey lanyards.  

In O-Week, they come together as one. But during times of play and feasting, they congregate into their own unique packs. Let’s take a closer look at Massey’s variety of Freshers, their charming qualities, and what an experienced RA has to say about it all.  

Fresh-Start-Freshers 

In the expansive terrain of Massey University, Fresh-Start-Freshers emerge, liberated from the lingering shadows of high school. Embarking on a journey on reinvention (however superficial), they’re driven by the innate desire to shed their high school image. 

Personas differ between each subspecies of Fresh-Start-Freshers, with the most common archetype thriving in Massey’s rustic student cafés. Here, adorned with slicked back buns and brand-new MacBooks, these fascinating creatures require daily iced oat lattes for their basic survival.  

Yet, beneath lies a vulnerability born from the haunting echoes of high school. Weekly therapy sessions serve as a crucial lifeline, as they navigate their newfound freedom alongside a lingering past. 

Chads 

The dancefloors of nightclubs and O-Week venues are home to a swarm of Chads. Identified by pube-staches, a Lynx deodorant aura, and primal grunts, these beings navigate their days burrowed in caves, venturing on solitary Tinder explorations.  

Nights unfold with lukewarm, beer-fuelled attempts at mating. Chads, when faced with female rejection, resort to displays of alpha male bravado to protect their fragile egos, often insulting the female rejector. For example: “I was just kidding… I can’t believe you thought I’d actually ask you out.” 

Last year’s Whanake Hall RA, Peyton Morete, explained that when Chads aren’t “doing stupid and dangerous shit” they’re great conversationalists. Morete recounted their peculiar nocturnal rituals; sprinting through halls and banging on walls in euphoric, post-town revelry at 3 a.m.  

Despite their quirks, this species adds a unique dynamic to Massey’s nocturnal tapestry, blending bravado with vulnerability in the pursuit of connection. 

RTD Rookies 

Behold the RTD Rookies, a diverse species within Massey’s habitat. Their behaviours differ based upon their chosen RTD, each subgroup exhibiting distinctive traits.  

Witness the diminutive Nitro enthusiasts effortlessly wielding 2-Litre Nitro bottles. They traverse party-scenes with the nonchalant grace of seasoned night adventurers.  

RA Morete recounted a moment of unity as Chads and RTD Rookies collaborated to build Whanake Hall’s longest drinking wizard staff. Yet, health and safety concerns thwarted their venture. Despite this, Morete appreciated “the amount of effort already put into it.” 

Known for their affinity for Love Island watch parties, these RTD devotees craft a peculiar, yet vibrant, environment. Fuelled by their chosen RTD, the group forge bonds with one another amidst a sea of carbonated dreams and televised romance.  

The Crazed Creatives  

Venturing into Massey’s artistic realm of academia, we encounter the captivating Creative Freshers. Easily identified by their unique fashion choices – often vintage, second-hand, or self-made attire – they carry their creative endeavours with grace and distinction.  

As a former Creative Fresher, this species stood out most to Morete. “There were a lot of these residents in the halls because most went to Massey COCA,” she said.  

These individuals proudly proclaim their allegiance to the realms of art, design, music, theatre, and fashion. Yet, within their artistic souls, a tempest rages – a tumultuous love affair with their craft, marked by moments of doubt and introspection.  

Amidst the sanctuary of studio spaces and feedback circles and snapping (quirky clapping), they navigate the intricate dance between inspiration and despair. They craft their spectrum of emotions into the masterpiece of their dreams. 

Homesick Homies 

In the emotional landscape of university life, we will encounter the Homesick Homies. A peculiar species grappling with homesickness caused by the overwhelming hangxiety of O-Week festivities. 

During the initial month of university, these delicate beings are found seeking refuge under duvets, in toilet stalls, amidst the pouring rain (listening to Boy Genius), or secluded in the darkest corners of lecture theatres. 

Declaring their impending departure to those who listen, they navigate a fragile dance between distress and determination. Morete explained the species often attend parties “as a way to battle the homesickness." Yet, this coping mechanism only prolongs their hangxiety.  

As the month unfolds and the hangxiety dissipates, the species remarkably adapts to their new surroundings. They develop a newfound affection for university life. This showcases the resilient spirit found within the Homesick Homies.  

Rory Gilmore Wannabes 

Venturing into the sanctum of knowledge at Massey University, we encounter the enigmatic Rory Gilmore Wannabes. Dressed in attire reminiscent of your high school English teacher, these punctual pilgrims seek solace within the library’s hallowed halls.  

Much like the fictional Rory Gilmore, these studious Freshers dreams of post-university grandeur. These people-pleasers navigate the academic landscape with an illusion of self-assurance.  

However, their inability to handle criticism unveils a fascinating trait – a susceptibility that, when triggered, can plunge them into a brief but dramatic existential crisis. Behold as they embark on a fleeting departure from academia, only to return a week later fuelled by a drive to be the top of their class.