Sexcapades: Porirua Porn Star

So, one week I was desperate for a hookup. I ended up chatting with this guy on Hinge, and it was going really well. Not a day later and he comes over, and I KID YOU NOT, best sex I’ve ever had. So anyways, after three hours of blowing my back out, we were both keen to meet up again (who wouldn’t after all those moves).  

He was keen for me to come over to his, and it turned out he lived all the way in Porirua. I didn’t think much of it, but that’s not the point. He proceeded to ask me if I wanted to film a porno with him. A porno. Turns out all those tricks and moves weren’t for nothing, and this motherfucker was a relatively popular Twitter porn star (I’m talking masks and everything too). 

Obviously, I declined. However, I still ended up going over to his house cause, let’s face it, the sex was too good to turn down. When he greeted me at the front door, I realised all to quickly that he was living with his parents at age 23 (HELP) and we ended up fucking in his basement bedroom while his mother was making chilly above us (YIKES).  

I needed to stay the night as I wasn’t going to take the train in the middle of the night, and turns out this guy had no personality, let alone was interested in listening to any of my interests other than his own. After an awkward goodbye hug, he gave me his Twitter handle. Which despite blocking him from all social platforms shortly after, I find pretty funny.