What do Your Fun Socks Say About You?

In the past few years, “fun” socks have risen in popularity. Some say it’s a cop-out for not having an actual personality, whilst others say they’re a cute, harmless accessory. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle. Sadly, I’ve dated many a fun-sock man in my time. The good news is, I now have a wealth of information that I can share with you, dear readers. So, without further ado, here’s everything your fun socks say about you. 

Tacos:

You just LOVE tacos! You go out on a lot of dates, and will endlessly express how tacos are the perfect date food. And sure, maybe they are, but you’ll never have any other ideas. Bowling? Art galleries? Forget it, you just want tacos. You pay a lot of money for these little guys too, since you’re the kind to go frequent gentrified white-washed restaurants for your sweet kick. Oh, and you also use the crying face emoji...a lot. 

Rubber Ducks:

Ironically, you have poor hygiene habits. You love making out in playgrounds and aren’t afraid of holding hands in public. If anything, you’re a little too committed. If you don’t get a response on Tinder, you WILL double message. Then triple message. Maybe a fourth if you’re a bit drunk that night (you most certainty will be). 

Dogs/Cats:

You’re SUCH a homebody. You just LOVE staying in and watching movies. Parties? Yuck, no thank you! Did you mention you’re an introvert? Yep, that’s right, INFJ! Despite being an introvert, you like to loudly talk about what you’ve been watching on Disney Plus that week, as well as how much coffee you’ve had to drink that morning (wow! 3 cups! Better cool it down babe!). 

Books:

Winter gets you depressed and you’ll find yourself lusting over your high school relationship (it’s been years, mate). You read a lot in primary school so the identity of being a book worm has stuck with you, despite not picking up a novel in about three years. Watching movie adaptions on Netflix counts, right? You dream of writing the next great bestseller but, truth be told, you’re actually a bit shit. That doesn’t stop you writing poetry to your ex, though (we get it, they fucked you up). 

Fruit:
You also don’t actually eat fruit, but you consider socks a good substitute for the real thing. You love dancing, and go clubbing practically every weekend, but you never seem to pull. Why is that? Is it because of your seedy dancing? Or constantly scabbing a dart from randoms in the street? I guess you’ll never know (we know). 

Golf:

You like to fancy yourself as mature, a real George Clooney in the flesh. This is all because you occasionally eat Brie, which has truly set you on the path to being a food snob. “Oh no, not cheddar!” you cry from your freakishly high horse. You don’t date because of your high standards, instead choosing to neg your attractive female friends around you. Oh, and you drink red wine but secretly long for white (less harsh on the ol’ teeth). 

Celebrities Faces:

Wow, you’re just SO funny! Get a load of this guy! Class clown, right over here! Socks with Kanye West on them? Now I’m just bending over backwards. Really, what a fucking riot you are. Bet he’s your best mate, huh? Just having a little laugh, God you really crack me up sometimes. 

No Socks:

Fucking psychopath. Needs to be stopped at all costs.