Solicited Advice
Solicited advice is a weekly column where an underqualified anonymous guru answers the questions you want answered. This won’t include the stock-standard, sugar-coated advice you’re used to hearing – we’re talking about the truths that are REALLY on your mind.
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Why is cooking so hard?
Firstly, Grow up. Cooking isn't hard. Secondly, this is an advice column for god's stake, not a whining arena. Cooking is an art and a luxury, if you're able to do it, do it right. But anyway, I will try and turn this into some life changing advice for you… season things... add something bougie on top like sesame seeds or fresh basil… and you will basically be a chef. Eating is something we have no choice but to do, you might as well aim to make all of the mundane daily things as joyous and glorious as possible. Also, check your privilege xx
Are rebounds a good way to get over someone?
I simply have never been dumped and have only ever dumped. Once I dumped a boyfriend in a cafe and he cried and I told him I didn't care. However, I have many a friend whom I have consoled/annoyed through such a time.
My advice is to be alone for a little bit. Make sure you know yourself and check you're still a capable and functioning member of society as a singleton. Don't rebound if it's because you need to, not because you want to.
Boobs or ass?
I've decided neither, you absolute weirdo. I'm not going to reduce someone down to that. This question is so rooted in what's trendy at any given time.
Again, an advice column gentle-people, but I'm flattered you care about my opinion. I am going to elect ass for my answer. I think boobs can kind of be a weird territory, lots of boob having people can feel a bit uncomfortable with what's clinging to their chest, whether that be because it's too big or too small or makes them feel dysmorphic because it doesn't belong there in the first place, so putting alot of emphasis on it can be uncomfy. I've known boob havers who have chronic back pain who do not want to have a breast reduction because they think it would lessen their value to potential partners. If you're a fan of your boobs that's really cool but I think ass is a bit safer.
However, I think it's also interesting to note that trends include body shapes (and a lot of what is desirable is rooted in racism) and although ass is in at the moment, something else will prevail at some point soon, so don't get a BBL for god's sake. ps 1/6000 BBLs result in death…..