Sexcapades - Cube Conundrums

Fucking a fresher is probably the most shameful thing I've done in my lifetime. You may think I’m being dramatic, but doing this disgusting deed wasn’t just a gross action, but it also unveiled the down-bad headspace I’ve been in this year.

Let's paint the picture for you. I’m a fourth year student at Massey. On top of that, I started Uni when I was 20 years old. Meaning I am 24 on the verge of 25. Twenty-fucking-five. The boy I willingly fucked hasn’t even voted in his first election.

Anyways, I think the story of how this happened is quite funny, not for me, but hopefully for all the sexcapade readers out there.

So, I’m a DeliverEasy driver on the side, it supports the studies. I picked up an order from Gorilla Burger and saw the location I was headed towards The infamous Cube. Just my luck having to deal with freshers. Anyway, I get to my destination and am greeted at the door by this handsome well-mannered boy, lets call him Josh. Josh was cute, I was having problems getting my bike stand down so he rushed over to help. Once I was off my bike I took my helmet off, as soon as he saw my face he reacted surprisingly. He had this look of endearment, it was a lovely feeling. We chit chatted back and forth a little bit, before I was about to leave, he asked if he could have my number. I said yes, probably due to the small ounce of courtesy he approached me with (most any dude has graced me with in years).

Fast-forward two weeks from the fateful day we met. It’s 2:30 in the morning, I’ve just gotten home from a wine and cheese night with the girls. I'm a little bit tipsy, but nothing out of the ordinary. I suddenly receive a call from an unmarked number. I pick up and after a few mumbled sentences I realise it's the Cube boy, Josh. He asks If I want to come over to “watch a movie”, I laugh down the phone and tell him nice try. This is where my dignity flew out the window. Against every moral fiber in my body, I for some reason text him asking his address. Next minute I’m in his room about to embark on a first for me.

As expected, he sucks at sex. I have to show him where the hole is, how fast to go, not to pull on my hair like it's a fucking tug-of-war competition. He finishes, I don’t. Suddenly I start bursting out in tears at the atrocity I just took part in. Instead of consoling me, he shows his age by telling me that he doesn’t want any emotions attached, and that he couldn’t have a girlfriend at the moment. Classic boy behaviour.

Maybe this isn’t a “funny” story, but it is a sign to IGNORE the fresher in your DM’s. Actually, just stay away from the Cube in general.