Ranking every university confession page
Every student seems to be horny and sad
Every university in New Zealand has an anonymous platform where students can submit stories, rants, life crises, uni crushes, and grievances without much oversight. The best pages need to be active and have restrictions that keep things ethical. Admins have a responsibility to prevent direct attacks and ensure posts remain anonymous. The amount of borderline and outright sexual harassment on some pages is shameful, and it's clear that some pages still lack adequate moderation.
8th place: Waikato University – Confessing since 2014 w/ 2.6K followers
The Waikato confessions pages lost many points, not only for not posting in the last four years, but for creepy af confessions being published. Someone wrote about how hot their Legal104 tutor was, then tagged him in the comments. AND multiple others chimed in to agree.
I assume there were no rules, but I'll never know because the link to submit confessions is broken.
7th place: Lincoln University – Confessing since 2014 w/ 1.6K followers
Thirteen posts. Lincoln University's confession Facebook page has thirteen posts. It has been crickets on the UoL confessions Facebook page since 2015. They do have an Instagram page called @uolbanter that is somewhat active but that is more memes than confessions.
If I could access the confessions Google Forms, maybe Lincoln would score higher — but I doubt it.
6th place: Auckland University of Technology – Confessing since 2014 w/ 3.1K followers
As we can see from the post above, names and degrees are being dropped on this confession page. Sure, there are probably at least 100 Zacks doing Business at AUT, but what if one of them had a notably great ass?
I guess this confession didn’t technically break any rules, though, because when you click the link to make a confession, there aren’t any.
5th place: University of Auckland - Confessing since 2017 w/ 27K followers
The UoA confessions page was pretty depressing, which makes sense when you're living in Auckland. Most of the posts were about people feeling lonely or begging for friends. Despite having over 27,000 followers, they only posted three times last year.
With over 5000 posts, the highlight for me was the comment sections. The backhanded advice and roasters came to play. As for rules, this page was solid. There was a long list outlining exactly what you could post, and I didn’t see any name-dropping or creepy, stalker-ish confessions.
4th place: University of Canterbury – Confessing since 2022 w/ 3.8K followers
This page is surprisingly active compared to other confession pages, posting about five to six times a month. But it suffers from a quantity over quality issue, as one commenter said, it might as well be called “UC: Meaningless Confessions”.
A lot of the posts are oddly horny yet excruciatingly boring, lacking any real substance.
To top off my disappointment, their submission page didn’t have any rules. That said, I didn’t see much name-dropping or creepy descriptions.
3rd place: Victoria University of Wellington – Confessing since 2018 w/ 11K followers
The Vic confessions page is alive and kicking — but it’s too alive. It’s almost too constant. If I were a Vic student, I’d hate having to sift through endless, incredibly fake-sounding posts just to find the real gossip. Nearly every post I read had a sense of fakeness to it.
The rules covered the basics, like no hate speech. But while they won’t post anything that borders on stalker-ish, nowhere in their rules do they prohibit using full names. It’s like they’re saying it’s okay to name-drop if it’s not obsessive, but why not stop the problem before it starts?
2nd place: Massey University – Confessing since 2018 w/ 6.2K followers
Most confessions on Massey’s page come from the Palmerston North campus, and as someone from Palmy, I get it — there’s nothing else to do, so why not post on the confessions page?
Massey Confessions has a knack for blowing small events out of proportion. Massey students excel at turning situations into grand dramas, making the discourse both ridiculous and entertaining. I wished it had gone on longer.
In terms of anonymity, Massey Confessions does well. I didn’t see name-dropping or overly descriptive posts. They focus on semi-fun discourse rather than personal attacks, and for that, I give them credit.
1st place: University of Otago – Confessing since 2017 w/ 39K followers
Otago University’s confessions page truly excels in storytelling -- they are masters at overexplaining. The posts are a testament to their knack for narrative.
With more followers than any other uni confession page, the confessions feel like a performance. Such a developed page means students are willing to share their most salacious experiences and fantasies or vent about their deepest struggles and dissatisfaction with life.
Congrats Otago students, you win the award for best confession page -- but you live in Dunedin, so who's the real loser?