Kink Masquerade
Inside Wellington’s kink community
Wellington’s kink community began through the app, FetLife, which connects kinky people locally and globally. The community is more social than sexual, organizing events like social drinks, educational workshops... and even a kink ball. So, let's unveil the masks of this kink masquerade.
Art by Jess Skudder
Blood Play
Individuals interested in blood play are aroused by the sight, feel, release, and/or taste of blood.
Wellington nurse, Eden* has been part of the kink community for 12 years now after experimenting with her long-term boyfriend in med school. For her, blood play has allowed her to combine two things she loves: her job and her sex life.
“Intimacy, it’s all about intimacy. You cannot get closer than shedding your life force on each other.”
Eden* explains blood play is like receiving a gift. It’s a gratifying and intimate experience because her partner is giving her a part of their life force, which for her, is the ultimate gift.
When I ask (what I thought was an obvious question) if she gets turned on at her job, Eden* chokes on her coffee, throws her head back and laughs hysterically. “God you’re so vanilla baby. No, I don’t get turned on when I’m treating a patient if that’s what you’re asking.”
“It does help I know where and how I can cut someone. Honestly, more medical professionals than you might think have a blood kink. If you want to get into blood play, get into it with a medic.”
Sensory Deprivation
Depriving any senses sharpens the rest. So completely depriving yourself of your senses can make sexual pleasure feel even more intense. However, it also means having complete trust in another person as they tie you up, limit your control, take away your senses, and then fuck you senseless.
Yasmin* likes all senses, except smell taken away during sex. She uses earmuffs, restraints, mouth gags, and blindfolds.
She finds it to be a release. Oldest in her family and running a business with over 100 employees, she considers herself very serious and organised in her day-to-day. “I have to organise and control so many aspects of my life. My kink allows me to have a complete release of control as I give it over to my partner.”
Yasmin says her partner “can do whatever they want to me when my senses are taken away from me. As long as I have a sense of smell, I’m fine. Smell grounds me. Because, as much as I want to have my senses deprived, I still want to feel grounded in the pleasure that brings me.”
Pet Play
Pet play is when a person or people take roles of a pet or animal. This can involve wearing ears, paws, a snout, collar, and/or a leash.
Damien* met his pack over Discord as a teenager living in Melbourne. At the time, he was exploring his sexuality while living in a repressive household. Damien says his pack introduced him to his kink, and to what family is supposed to be.
Damien identifies as a pup in his day-to-day life, not just within his sex life. “I wear a collar most of the time, so I definitely get some weird looks in public by humans like yourself.”
His pack is made up of himself (the pup) an alpha, beta, and handler, and they all live together in their handler’s home in Kelburn. As the most submissive in their pack, Damien says he listens to all orders his pack gives him based upon pre-agreed rules. The pack enforces consent in all activities they do, especially in bed.
“In bed, I’ll wear my collar and leash. But never my pup suit, because those are expensive and don’t react well to cum, discharge, or any other fluid.”
Damien acknowledges most people think the kink is odd, but he believes vanilla sex is even odder. “It’s all a state of mind.”
Power Exchange
Power exchange involves a relationship between a dominant and submissive. A dom enjoys dominating their partner through various kinky activities, while the sub partner enjoys being dominated.
Cora* identifies as a submissive – enjoying taking instructions, following rules, being cared for, and being at her partner’s mercy.
“Submission is always given, never taken. That's why a lot of people would argue submissives actually hold all power. At any stage they can revoke their consent or submission, and everything stops.”
Roles Cora identifies with while being submissive are:
Good Girl: Taking instructions and playing by rules.
Princess: Being cared for, complimented, and spoilt.
Brat: Being mischievous, defying instructions, and pushing boundaries. This often leads to pre-agreed punishments.
Bondage Bottom: Being restrained/tied up to be totally in her partner’s control.
Outside of the bedroom, she is confident, manages a team, deals with senior leadership at work, and is highly organised. On entering the bedroom, she relinquishes control to her dominant, relaxing into her submission.
Knife Play
Knife play is consensual BDSM edgeplay involving any kind of blade for sexual arousal and stimulation.
Theo* considers himself a master knife player/swordsmith. After getting into fantasy books such as Game of Thrones, Theo began learning the art of swordplay and knife work.
“You don’t need to cut someone for it to be considered knife play. You can run your blade across someone, cut their clothes off with it, grazing it along the skin, or just hold it in vulnerable places without breaking the skin.”
Theo has been in a serious relationship with his girlfriend of three years who partakes in his kink. He says that they often bring fantasy roleplay into the bedroom too, which I’m told involves a lot of leather.
“What’s sexier than putting your life in someone else’s hands?” Theo asks me.
Theo advises me never to go into knife play with someone I don’t know well or don’t trust because “it can go wrong very easily”.
Electrostimulation
Electrostimulation involves using electricity for kinky, sexy fun. There are a range of toys made for this kink, with the violet wand being most popular. I’m advised only people in good health can engage in this activity.
Tara*, a commerce student in the streets but a dominatrix in the sheets, met me alongside her violet wand she has named Poppy. “It literally makes my nipples pop out,” she tells me casually.
A violet wand may look like a dildo, but I was told many times not to use it like one. However, it is apparently okay to use it on your arm in the middle of Prefab Café (for journalistic purposes only). I tell Tara confidently, “Turn it up to the highest setting!”
Tara replies, “Okay baby doll,” before I feel millions of needles stabbing my arm. I should have started on the lowest setting.
Oviposition/Egg laying kink
Oviposition, or egg laying, involves sexual arousal derived from laying eggs. The person imagines themselves as an egg-laying creature or uses devices that simulate egg-laying sensations.
Ellie* is a member of the oviposition kink community. For them, the idea of aliens laying eggs inside them turns them on. “I literally convulse with pleasure at the thought of aliens laying eggs in me.”
There are many sex toys online specifically made for people with this kink. For Ellie, theirs is an Alien Ovipositor she purchased from Etsy. It’s a dildo with an opening at the tip, allowing eggs to travel through it once it’s inserted into the vagina or anus. The Etsy description says as the eggs move through the dildo, you’ll feel each and every pulse until you’re left satisfied and full.
Ellie says hers is a solo-kink and would only ever do it with a partner who wasn’t creeped. “When I mate with a guy or gal, I bet they are going to be the hottest, sexiest, alien I have ever laid eyes upon. Until then, I have my egg laying dildo named Glorges.” (Glorges translates to gorgeous in Alien).
Kinks aren’t just about dungeons, whips, and chains — though I’m told those are fun too. The community fosters fulfilling connections, consent, and a better understanding of their own sexual needs, with many people finding fulfilling romantic relationships. Well, except for our favourite egg-enthusiast – but I’m sure their mate is somewhere in our atmosphere.