Navigating Casual Relationships in the Age of the Internet

Tinder Experiences

In the age of the internet, dating apps have become the norm for those looking to find new relationships or sexual experiences. This week, I’ve sat down with some people who are living their lives in direct antagonism of stranger danger and the advice that our parents tried so hard to instill in us.   

These stories are excerpts of hilarious and ridiculous situations that could befall all those who decide to meet up with strangers on the internet. Whether they serve as simply a fun read or hold deeper meaning about the state of relationships in this current age, I hope this SEX issue brings some joy and laughter to you all.  

The first stories I received followed a pattern of drunk meet-ups with people that they’d briefly spoken to online – followed by an embarrassing incident that led to them never speaking to the poor person ever again.  

Durk (all names are fake for confidentiality) spoke to me about a girl from Tinder that he met up with while on a night out. In quite a state, Durk met her in town and then invited her home with him. Quite unfortunately for Durk, the encounter ended in him urinating during his sleep while she slept beside him.  

Being the gentleman he was, Durk drove her home after he had stripped his bedding and put his bed in the hallway to air out. It seemed that she appreciated the ride home but Durk later discovered that she had stolen his UE BOOM as a piece of revenge on the way out. I think it’s safe to say Durk didn’t hear from her again.  

Amelia on the other hand was speaking with a boy on Tinder and upon meeting him discovered that he had ‘meth for life’ permanently scarred into his chest. While this was initially startling, Amelia assured me that he was a nice boy who brought her nuggets the next time they hooked up. It is still unclear what led to this DYI tattoo job but Amelia says it’s likely he lost a bet.   

In Louis’ online dating experience, he told me of a girl who he met online and proceeded to later hang out with at a party. They were quite drunk and were consuming large amounts of free champagne supplied by the host of the party. After getting cut off from the bar, the pair moved into a bedroom where they had sex.  

While Louis says the sex was enjoyable, it was the aftermath that left him baffled. As they go back into the party he is talking to a friend while the girl from earlier starts to move towards the pair. She leaps towards him and starts to strangle him in the middle of the party while proceeding to move on to his friend. The parents of the host had to step in to split the scuffle up, with the girl disappearing in the altercation.  

Against probably better judgement, Louis went back to her flat the following Wednesday.   

My favourite story comes from Johnny who had been messaging an older man on Grinder while working in Seattle. From his profile he was an attractive guy in his 40s, appeared very clean-cut, and gave off the vibes of a politician. There were lots of pictures of him in suits and it looked as if he was doing very well for himself – for Johnny this was ticking all the boxes!  

They’d been chatting for a while and Johnny was keen to meet up as they lived close to his workplace. After a bit of back and forth, Johnny went over after work with high hopes and excitement.  

As Johnny arrives at the address, he realises he’s at a community housing unit and there is a bald, 85-year-old man with a beer gut sitting on the porch waiting for him.  

Trying to stay optimistic, Johnny introduces himself and tries to go inside to find the person from the profile pictures. The old man steps in front of Johnny and alerts him that he is the person he’s waiting for.  

Johnny says the man laughed and commented that he was apologetic if he looks different from his profile as they were from ‘a little bit ago’. Johnny, who is silently freaking out and too nice to walk away, ends up continuing into the house with this man who is obviously 30 years older than his profile made him out to be.  

After figuring out his options, Johnny asks to use the toilet and proceeds to go down the hall and lock himself inside. While he knows that he should run down the hallway and give this man a piece of his mind, Johnny doesn’t feel comfortable going back out there.  

The solution to this issue? Johnny jumped out of the two-story bathroom window and ran for his life. In his own words, “I jumped out of a second-story window to get away from this motherfucker and took off and never looked back.”   

Johnny’s situation is what we all fear the most when meeting up with a stranger on the internet. It’s always nagging at the back of the head as you arrive at the destination but you manage to convince yourself it’s fine.  

There are always obvious risks with internet dating but it is simply becoming the norm. I’m sure that a large portion of our readers have tried or are currently use dating apps.  

Relationships – casual and romantic – are being formed regularly through the internet and it’s becoming standard to hear of couples who met through Tinder. We are observing a new age of dating take place.   

My advice: meet in a public place and arrive from a distance so that you can disappear if they aren’t quite what you bargained for.