Sexcapades: The Bullseye Bandit

I was in my first year of uni in Palmy and living in the halls, and I had a massive crush on my neighbour. I would see her in the elevator on the way to 9am lectures a couple times a week and I always got so nervous to talk to her. I was a serious virgin. One weekend, her flat hosted a party and everyone on our floor was invited. My flatmates and I drank a couple apple Long Whites they hyped me up before we went to her party.  

Her flat was so full but I could see her across the room. I was just tipsy enough to talk to her. The night goes on, we go out, and eventually I scored. We go back to my flat and start having sex. I’m nervous but using what I’ve learnt in porn to my advantage. She was super into it, whispering to me, biting my ear. I loved it. She told me to pull out when I felt like I was going to cum. And unfortunately, that didn’t take me long.  

We were in missionary position - I told you I was a serious virgin. I pulled out just in time, but I didn’t think far enough to what to do with the cum shooting out of me. It shot hard straight into her face. Her hand flew to her eye. The only thing in reach was my dirty boxers so I grabbed them and tried to blot her face. She was blinking hard, but her eye was all red and watering. She didn’t stay the rest of the night and went back to her flat with her undies wrapped on her head like an eyepatch.  

On Monday, I encountered her in the elevator on her way to class. She walked in looking very unhappy to see me with a big stye on her eye. I had no idea what to say so I blurted out the first thing - and the absolute worst thing - that came to mind: “Good party."