Horoscopes (vol. 24)

Libra: You love your balance, bestie, I know. But balance does not mean three hours of study and then going out for the night. Play hard, work harder.  

Study break idea: Do a paint by numbers. 

Scorpio: Say no to that study date they asked you on, Scorpio. You need to pass your exams, which you won’t if you’re fraternizing.  

Study break idea: Walk along the waterfront. 

Sagittarius: Your study planner is so pretty Sag! So was the one you made last week! How about actually following it now??  

Study break idea: Call your grandma.  

Capricorn: To successfully study this exam season, make a Kahoot and try to beat all your friends who aren’t even in the same paper. Your motivation is being better than everyone else. #GirlBoss.  

Study break idea: Scroll through Tinder for a sugar daddy. 

Aquarius: Be careful who you invite to join you in the study group. The stars are telling me someone is planning to bring Doritos and eat them with their mouth open. Be cautious.  

Study break idea: Carefully curate a meal plan. 

Pisces: No, Pisces, sitting in front of your laptop and spending 10 minutes picking out a font does not count as doing any work. Stop procrastinating.  

Study break idea: Make a playlist for the summer roadies you won’t take. 

Aries: Don’t study from home this week. Go the library so that you don’t ruin your relationship with your flatties by showing them a stupid TikTok every five minutes.  

Study break idea: Do a High School Musical HITT workout.  

Taurus: You need to stop rewarding yourself with takeaways or boujee coffee every time you complete a minimal amount of work. Grow up.  

Study break idea: Watch a TED Talk on how to be a boss bitch.  

Gemini: Try playing some music while you do your work to keep you from being too bored. I personally would recommend Bach’s Cello Suite No. 1 in G Major. A classic.  

Study break idea: Write a Lee Jung-jae fanfiction on Wattpad.  

Cancer: Try to romanticize your hand-ins and study time! Sit by a window to do your readings! Pretend like you’re on a date with your lecturers when you go to office hours! 

Study break idea: Search LinkedIn for corporate DILFs.  

Leo: Just keep to yourself this study season, Leo. You’re pissing me off.  

Study break idea: Take a good, hard look at yourself in the mirror. 

Virgo: Buy an adult colouring-in book to keep you feeling sane this exam. Not only will it calm you down but will also make you feel like you’re still being productive while on your study breaks.  

Study break idea: Buy some seeds and a pot. Nurse the plant to its full sexiness.