Horoscopes (vol 18)
Leo: It’s Leo szn baby! You love attention and now you might actually get some... just not from that beezy you’ve been grafting for the past three months. Time to let her go, champ.
Self-care idea: Humble yourself.
Virgo: Stop listening to everyone else’s problems and listen to your own! Your heart is trying to tell you something and you won’t be able to figure it out if you’re too busy looking after everyone else.
Self-care idea: Candles on. Journal up.
Libra: I know going out and getting on the piss is fun, but it might be time to chill out. Your friends are over the shitty roots you’re bringing home and want you to know your worth, bestie.
Self-care idea: Take some melatonin and get a good night’s rest.
Scorpio: Oh Scorpio, you sexy, sexy thing. Keep doing what you’re doing, Miss Girl. You are sex on legs and good things are coming your way. Thank you for your generosity in the bedroom.
Self-care idea: Steak and red wine from the most boujee place you know – you deserve it.
Sagittarius: You know your hot and love to flaunt it. Keep the confidence up! But um, maybe don’t get so butt hurt every time you’re rejected? Modesty is a turn on, babes.
Self-care idea: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5motuzyLXIkn
Capricorn: Bestie, you need to stop spending all your money on clothes and then stealing your flatmates’ food when you can’t afford to eat. We LOVE your style but let’s just focus on financial stability for now, yeah?
Self-care idea: Make a budget! Stick to it!
Aquarius: You have massive dreams and goals for your future, which is nice, but it might be time to put your feet on the ground and start thinking realistically. New York will wait for you.
Self-care idea: Painting and wine night!
Pisces: Sorry to be that person, Pisces, but you’re not going to find The One by getting blackout and going to a shitty club. Time to expand your horizons, perhaps go Yo-Pro hunting at a nice bar on Fridays from 4-7pm (trust me).
Self-care idea: Delete Tinder, lol.
Aries: Aries! Bestie! Settle down. We love how fiery you are but the drama must stop! Your flatties can’t keep crying in their room because you got mad that they started watching Love Island without you, it’s not healthy.
Self-care idea: Download a mindfulness app. And use it.
Taurus: Don't listen to the haters, Taurus, you are smart. However, it might actually be time to talk the talk and make a trip to the library? Idk, it couldn’t hurt.
Self-care idea: Get a head start on your assignments. Future you will be grateful.
Gemini: I hate to tell you this bestie, but both of your sugar daddies met at the same conference last Friday. Either drop one or tell them you’re not actually exclusive. Sugar daddies have feelings too.
Self-care idea: Get a long-distance sugar daddy!
Cancer: Yes! Being in touch with your emotions is so good! You’ve come such a long way from your depressed emo phase. But be warned, Cancer, that emo phase is always lingering over your head, so make sure you’ve got the tools and support system to deal with a relapse.
Self-care idea: Rom-com and karaoke night! I know you love it.