Hangry: A deep dive into the politics of limited eating options and food trucks on campus

Every day I sit at my silly little desk and do my silly little work. But come lunchtime, my world literally falls apart. The question of “what the fuck do I eat today” has become a nauseating, terrible facet of life at Massey University. Massive decided to look into the options, or lack thereof, around the campuses, and how the University is failing to provide for students.  

Before I get underway, I know what you’re gonna say. And sure, I could bring lunch to university. But fuck it, that assumes a certain level of high functioning that is well beyond my capacities. I run a magazine but I’m too depressed to prepare and pack sandwiches. I don’t make the rules, I just live them. Miserably.  

WELLINGTON:  

In Wellington, there is one ring to rule to them all: Tussock. Tussock is a cafe on campus that is, well, interesting. I don’t want to be too cruel, because I eat there almost every day and I don’t want them to start spitting in my food - although, actually, that might make an improvement on the food.  

Tussock is a Massey operation, with a mandate that, according to a university spokesperson, “is to provide catering to students, staff and visitors at a minimum rate that covers the direct operational costs and as such remain viable”. It’s the sole caterer for Wellington, because, as the spokesperson claims “due to the size of the Wellington campus this is the only viable option”. I think 4000 students deserve a bit more than that, in my opinion. If the campus is big enough to hold an empty wellbeing space filled with beanbags, I’m sure it could open another store, just saying.  

Tussock is the hand job of the food industry: it’ll do the job, but really, you could do a hell of a lot better yourself. It’s relatively cheap, but the quality shows. My one sticking point about Tussock is that there’s no sushi. No tender teriyaki chicken with avocado on rice, nothing! In fact, the whole menu is pretty fucking Eurocentric, which is far from great when that’s the only food you can buy on campus.  

Student Emma says “Everyone knows Tussock sucks, but it’s all we’ve got. Everything I buy from there, whether it’s sandwiches or cakes, it’s dry as hell. I normally just get the onion rings, but they’ve even replaced those with corn nuggets.”  

Regardless of your opinion of Tussock, it’s still insanely popular because it’s literally the only place to eat on campus. There is a 15 person plus line on that little cafe, from 11:45am to 1:30pm. To grab food, I’ve literally started eating at 11am every day, just to dodge the queue. Yes, Massey has forced me to become a brunch person. Sure, it’s cute on Sundays, but not quite on a dismal Wednesday when your stomach starts growling by 2:30, again. 

Let’s say, you decide to give Tussock the middle finger, and venture out elsewhere. Any other cafe is a good 10 minutes' walk away, often up or down a hill. Doing my simple baby maths, that’s a 20-minute round trip, just to grab some food. Students don’t have the time, energy, or lung-capacity for this. Student Corey says that “if I leave campus for lunch, I just end up walking all the way home and not coming back. Once I’m out of campus, I’m out.”  

PALMERSTON NORTH:  
Palmerston North is also pretty dismal. At least in Wellington, the campus is like, close-ish to town. Palmy my darling, you’re out in the middle of the fucking countryside. It’s like Pride and Prejudice, but at least they had decent sandwiches. Once again, sushi is a painstaking walk away, almost a 40-minute walk just to sniff the underboob of a Californian roll.  

TReat is the go-to food hall, although the option is pretty ignored by students. One student, Sam, says “there’s a lack of fresh options. All the food is basically just greasy and fatty, and it makes me feel gross.” After witnessing a Sweet Chilli Schnitzel left under a heat lamp for hours, I can attest to this. Really? Sweet Chilli AND Schnitzel?  

The MUSA shop is where students tend to buy shit, from bananas to crackers. Again, it’s not much, but at least it’s beating Wellington in that department.  

There’s no alcohol for sale on campus whatsoever, which just sucks. Catching a bus just to grab a beer, now there’s a sad sight. Another student, Mary, says “I sometimes just skip lectures altogether to avoid going in to campus, because I know once I get there, I’ll be hungry and miserable. Why bother paying good money for reheated oven chips when I can make a mean fry-up at home and be comfortable in bed?” Now there’s the million-dollar question.  
ALBANY:  

Albany has options, sure, but the food ranges from pricey to questionable. Food for Thought is oily, repetitive and just not a cute vibe. Bad font choices really ruin everything, huh. Have people never heard of Times New Roman? 

I don’t know why every Massey cafe needs to have décor that’s simultaneously reminiscent of a prison crossed with a 1970s hospital. I’m depressed enough without bad wall art and linoleum floors, thanks. I also don’t know why cafes with food puns seem to reign supreme. There’s TReat at Manawatū, Food for Thought at Albany, whose thinking of these names?? What sick bastard is behind all this, huh. I want to meet them, neg them, then probably roll a fat joint and see what other terrible names they can come up with. Maybe at some point we lean in for a kiss, who knows.  

Scholars is another example of bad font, bad décor and an even worse name. We’re at Massey, not Oxford University okay, must we really pretend to be scholars? The food at Scholars is decent, but you’re paying for what you get. Whilst an eggs benedict in Wellington will set you back $9, at Scholars it’s edging closer to the $20 mark. Campus kebab and sushi lounge keep it real and easy, I’m not going to badmouth these fine establishments.  

One student, Kaiya, says “I barely eat at campus, just because I’ve tried it all and it’s, well, meh. In a time where food is getting more interesting and exciting, Massey is just way behind the curve.”  

With the return of Browse Café, things might start looking up for Albany. Not to mention the new and improved Browse is set to start stocking Starbucks. Sure, it’s a corporate chain, but honestly, I trust that over some weird catering company any day. Let’s just not talk about Unimart (rest in peace you angel).   

VENDING MACHINES:  

If you’re sick of the options offered, or sick of waiting in line for a sloppy bean burrito, then the only other course of action is the vending machines. They’re not cheap, but worst of all, they’re not filling. Sure, a chocolate bar or a packet of chips are fun study snacks, but they’re not lunch and we all know it. Next!   

The vending machines were all changed this year, and to plenty of complaints. Massey Confessions basically had a field day with this one.  

A university spokesperson said that, late last year, Massey conducted a tender process for the supply of vending machines (I had to google what that meant, but basically companies just placed bids on their right to spoon-feed us Diet Coke). The lucky guy was Choice, who “commenced provision” (lol) at the start of this year and who, according to Massey, “will ensure greater diversity in the products offered through their machines as well as the ability for us to increase the range of healthy food & beverage options made available”. Sure, there’s more beverages, I’ll give them that, but healthy food options are still pretty low on the ground. I’m not saying I necessarily want healthy food options, I’m not a complete freak, but, well, I don’t know. I just miss the old Cookie Time cookies, okay? Mrs Higgins just isn’t the same, and we all know it. We need to be more vulnerable and open with one another. Times are hard.  

FOOD TRUCKS:  

Despite all the shit, there is hope. Manawatū recently started allowing food trucks on campus, such as Dos Locos Taco, to student acclaim. This operation is controlled by Compass Catering, who I never thought I’d be grateful towards, but here we are.  

A university spokesperson said that they’re not aware of any plans for food trucks in Albany, and have no current plans for the Wellington campus as “we are not currently aware of any student feedback in this area”. They note, “if there was a proven desire for food trucks to be part of the offering then Massey could look into a managed programme of food trucks for this e.g., agreement on frequency, number of operators, dates, timings etc.”  

However, several Massey student executive staff claim that attempts at inviting food trucks onto the campus have been blocked by Tussock. One staff member said, "Based on previous conversations with the university and Tussock, MAWSA was under the impression that Tussock would not allow any food trucks on campus expect for O-Week.” 
Denis Jenkins, the National Manager for Hospitality at Massey, says, “Any previous decisions regarding food trucks would/could have been made in relation to the economic impact due to frequency and similarity of product.” He says that a “managed programme” of food trucks “could well add value to the ‘culture’ on the Wellington Campus”. So basically, fellow students, if you want food trucks or other food services, make your voices fucking heard. Fill out those student surveys, complain to the University, let your stomachs rumble loudly in these hallowed halls.  

Overall, food is important. You can spend a full day studying in the library or at lectures, and feel nourished, supported. Good food helps mentally and physically, and I know I sound like a shitty ad right now, but it’s true. You can catch up with friends in the local cafe, buy some delicious hot food from a food truck vendor, grab some cheap pints at a uni bar. Food builds community. If Massey wants to foster a better environment, they can start here.