OPINION: The Government is doing an okay job with Covid-19 briefings. They need to do better.

It's been almost a year since the first Covid-19 briefing. How are they still fucking up the comms? Why isn't there a te reo Māori interpreter present? Where does Jacinda get her fits from? Why can't anyone pronounce Papatoetoe? Is Ashley okay? His frown lines have deepened.

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I have so many questions that no one will answer. I sit patiently by my laptop every day waiting for the ‘kia ora koutou katoa’ not to sound like ‘car-door’. I am disappointed every time. Don't get me wrong, this government has done a pretty good job keeping us all safe. I feel lucky to be here in Aotearoa; at least our PM knows we're in the middle of a global pandemic. But there is so much left unaccounted for. The last government was acting quick, so some oversight can be forgiven, but this year we have a new government, a new team and a new variant. So, I don't think it's too much to say that we deserve better.   

How the fuck is there still no te reo Māori live broadcast? The information we've all seen over the last 12 months has been in English. There's been a New Zealand Sign Language interpreter since day one. While it's acceptable that the Covid-19 govt website provides a translated version of resources and information packets, there's been little attempt by the suits in Parliament to include Māori in the decision-making and sharing process. Groups like Protect Our Whakapapa (PoW) were forced to step in. Māori have always looked after their whānau, hapū and iwi. Via social media, PoW has done a brilliant job keeping their following up to date, te ao Māori style. I'm still waiting for a brave reporter to ask Jacinda why she's not actively including Māori. People who speak some reo Māori, or only speak reo Māori are being excluded.  

Dr Ashley, heartthrob and Director-General of Health, took the country by storm last March purely because we hardly ever see a white cis het man who can actually complete a task competently. Talk about straight women freaking out over the bare minimum. Look, I swoon over his decent reo pronunciation as much as the next person, but team, the shower curtains and tea towels are a bit much. He does his job, doesn't have drama, can communicate – maybe the nation lost their collective shit because he's the boyfriend we never had. IDK. I just wish we all had more Ashleys in our lives so that we'd stop chucking bouquets of roses at this poor married man's feet.   

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Chris Hipkins, on the other hand, Jesus, could we have a more frustrating minister? Every time there's a fuck up, he just keeps saying there have been communication challenges. Yeah Chris, we know. Quick reminder, he’s the Minister who gave us an extra $1,000 to add to our debt. To help with Covid-19 relief. More debt. The man is pure genius. Oh, and that $20mil we get over four years to share between all tertiary students who experience financial hardship. So, like $5 pp per year. Cool cool cool no doubt no doubt. Jacinda is the one who put this piece of Tip Top Super Fresh white bread in charge of the Covid-19 response, so maybe she's to blame.   

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Yeah, maybe her fits are fire, and her communication reminds us of our fun aunt, but Jacinda Ardern is still our elected leader. No matter how much you adore her, for her DJ days, or token hugs given to marginalised people, I can guarantee that queer people who were tortured under the guise of conversion therapy, and the whānau at Ihumātao who were almost imprisoned feel differently. If Jacinda feels safe to you, you'll listen to her briefings, look at her presence and see her as the mum of the nation, out to protect us all. When you're someone who sees through the PR mirage, you see her for what she is; a Prime Minister, just like any other, who puts her focus on the people who voted her in and keeps their vote by supporting their interests and wellbeing above all else.   

Maybe I don't need a reporter to ask Aunty Cindy those questions. I feel like I already know the answers.

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