Sexcapade: No lights nightmare

My neighbour in my hall last year was seriously into sex (go him!). He was going at it day and night with different girls in the hall (his D was probably fire).  

One morning, I wake up to the sound of him screaming in terror, so naturally I get up to see if he’s being murdered. I go into his room and there is blood all over the bed, up the walls, on the floor, handprints everywhere – I swear. He was covered in blood. I was like – huh? What the fuck?  

Turns out he had brought a girl back to his room the night before where they decided to just go at each other in every part of the room with the lights off. Unbeknownst to him, she was on her period. Unsure as to how he didn’t taste it when he went down on her – but when I asked him this, he said he just thought she was really turned on. Sorry to break it to you mate, but a woman is hardly ever THAT wet from something a first-year uni boy is doing to them.