The 15th century Māori ‘one night stand’ that caused war between iwis

Let me take you back to the 15th century, when my ancestor–who already had four wives– decided a quick stop in Rotorua to see his mate’s missus was a good idea.

I’m a sucker for Māori lore and war.

As descendants of Rotorua's iwi, Te Arawa, there were many tribes between us and occasionally you’d get the “marry a cousin” effect that Māori unconsciously talk about. Usually because, well, we had no other choice.

There was a man who led the Rotorua people, Whakaue. He lived there with his wife, Rangiuru, and had three legitimate sons.

Keyword here: LEGITIMATE sons. This concept was important in the fact that as a direct descendant, you took over your tribe upon the death of your father.

Whakaue and Rangiuru lived peaceful lives, where war between families was infrequent. You could say they were living a honeymoon, in the smelly, steamy village of Rotorua...

One day, as chiefs would do, Whakaue had to attend the opening of a wharepuni (meeting house) in Maketu just north, which was to be named after him. He left his wife Rangiuru at home.

I don’t know if Rangiuru had some sort of Māori lovemaking app in her mind or something but as soon as her man left, far out she had men all up in her whare!

The story goes that she was doting on Tuwharetoa, the muscly, 12 pack of abs young stud down in Taupō.

Tuwharetoa was the ruler of the central plateau of the North Island, from Turangi to Kawerau. He was famed as a high-ranked warrior and went on many expeditions claiming territory and other men's missus (as was the go back in those days).

Rangiuru sent her husband's slave to fetch the fine young man. And shortly after... Tuwharetoa arrived.

With no one around, Tuwharetoa and Rangiuru made love for many days and nights whilst her real man was away.

The result – a child and a war.

Her husband, Whakaue, was pissed when he got home to find his wife pregnant by his mate back in Taupō. He decided to send his boys to invite Tuwharetoa to fight him – 500 warriors to 500, last man down.

So, on the shores of Lake Rotorua, the battle of Tawharakurupeti took place. A bloody battle that resulted in mass casualties on both sides.

Te Arawa lost on their own turf, retreating to mourn the lives lost. Though blood, sweat and tears were shed, the baby was born and named Tutanekai.

As the years go by, Rotorua remains the most romantic city in Aotearoa. Fenton Street, the main drag of Rotorua, served as the ancient wedding aisle for Te Arawa iwi following the big war. Many of the subtribes of Te Arawa found solace eventually, with Rotorua becoming the main hub of Māori love and folklore.

The relationship between Te Arawa and Tuwharetoa became sealed, as alliances were made to fight off other iwi desperate to brood over the central plateau women.

Now we as descendants share whakapapa (genealogy) throughout many formed subtribes through those alliances and, I guess, live happily ever after as one people.