Studylink is my deadbeat sugar daddy
They never have a face, just an empty light blue suit or black pencil skirt and blouse. They walk through the back door of my childhood home like they own it, brandishing my application before throwing it in my face.
They scream at me. Liar. Leech. Burden. Straggler. Welfare Queen. Unworthy. Thief, stealing from the taxpayer.
The nightmare may be in my head. But the fear is real. The fear of breaking the rules, and the fear of getting caught.
I was one of the fortunate few to qualify for Studylink’s student allowance, and despite my dad not being in my life, I had to lie to get it.
There I was, 18 and soon-to-be a highschool graduate lying in bed with my laptop and my soft toys, ready to take the next step society requires before deeming you a functional adult: University. I had the grades. I had the acceptance. I had money from having a job since 15 to pay for halls.
As the child of a single mother who didn't make nearly enough to hit the income cap, I thought StudyLink was going to be the easiest hurdle to jump.
After a childhood of financial insecurity and more than a few bad experiences with Government support, I thought I would finally get some financial certainty from a service that wouldn't leave with a huge disadvantage post uni.
I don't have parents who I can go to for money when things get tough – this was my safety net. And then I read the StudyLink requirements for submitting applications with a single parent's income…
Your parent must be:
Dead (with proof).
In jail.
In a psych ward.
Have abused you in some way (with proof).
Had such a relationship breakdown, any contact with them will cause extreme psychological distress (with proof).
You don't know where they are.
You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.
My father lives overseas, I know where he is. Yet my mother had not seen any money from him since I was 5. I haven’t seen him in person since I was 7. I had an email address but could never be certain of a reply. When I was 8, I found a phone number – I stayed up into the early hours so I could call it at a time zone appropriate time only to be hung up on after 30 seconds.
But according to StudyLink, if he’s my Facebook friend then he must be taking me out for ice cream and helping me with my algebra. He gave me his email address, so he must be willing to financially support my education. Therefore, they require his income information in my allowance application.
I don't even have his address, let alone his income information.
The StudyLink website says, "The Government’s policy is that students need to share the costs of study with their parents and the government. This is regardless of whether they financially support you.”
It’s like they stabbed me in the guts with a knife that had ‘Daddy issues’ written on it.
After years of coming after my mother, the threat of sanctions, the feeling of being a burden on society, the Governments final 'fuck you' would be to deny me support I needed and was entitled to, on a technicality.
So, we decided to lie. We said we didn't know where he was.
The anxiety I felt in those weeks waiting for approval was unbearable. I couldn't sleep, I was either not eating or gorging on food. I watched season after season of TV because turning it off for even a second caused my head to swim.
And then... it got approved. But the fear never went away.
The entire process left me feeling dirty, but also violated. I was forced to write complicated and painful family dynamics on a form for some stranger in the Government to read. When I think about it, that's really fucked up.
In 2023, the Green Party wanted to give all university students an allowance of $385 per week, paid for with a fair tax system. This idea was based off their student wellbeing inquiry which found that two-thirds of students regularly don’t have enough money to buy food, clothing, pay bills, get health care or other basics.
Perhaps if this became reality, I wouldn’t have to lie to get the support I deserve. There is nothing wrong with me, the system is wrong. So, regardless of all the nightmares and all the fear, I have no regrets.
Studylink may be my sugar daddy, but maybe he won’t be so deadbeat forever.