Will your feet make a finance?
Two broke students go feet first into the foot fetish industry to test their luck
“Fuck this. I’m going to sell my feet”.
A term often heard by students at a time of crumbling debt, sky-rocketing inflation, and eye-watering rent prices.
I have been heard to say this on occasion myself. Especially after receiving my most recent letter from IRD reminding me about my building student loan. Suddenly, a weirdly high number of TikToks have appeared on my algorithm recently suggesting I sell foot fetish content. But I’m sceptical. Does the gig actually make bank, or does it just create a really incriminating digital footprint?
One foot content creator on TikTok, @thequeenaria, claims she's managed to make thousands from the side hustle. Her niche is selling videos of writing men’s names on paper with her feet and then selling them for between $200-$300. She even takes commissions for an extra $100.
Honestly, it sounds perfect – the financial dream I fantasise quitting my job for. So, I decide I shall dip my toe in the water.
I want to figure out my best chances of success, and dive into researching all things feet. This is where I encounter a major problem which hinders my success… Short toes don’t sell. I am a victim of the cruel short toe plague.
Luckily, I know just the person who will be willing to sell their long, recently pedicured, lanky and bony toes. My best friend and fellow journalism student, Leonie Sheehan. I have become her foot manager, her foot assistant... her foot publicist, if you will.
Thus, we begin.
Feet pic brainstorming:
Shave hair off toes
Massage feet with moisturiser
Strip tease with a sock (erotic?)
Cover toes in tomato sauce
Fondle a banana with feet (remember to wash the banana afterwards)
Wiggle feet around in carpet, grass, and mud (yum)
Perhaps my favourite is filming foot degrading videos – a recent foot fetish trend where the watcher is supposed to be a bug on the floor and the foot model kicks and stamps on the camera.
The entire experience is uncomfortable to say the least. It is a hilarious experiment, and Leonie seems to enjoy her foot massage (until my mum walks in and ruins the mood). But it is exhausting trying to come up with niche ideas to set us apart from our competition.
As I am Leonie’s foot publicist, it is up to me to edit and post the content. I use my Adobe subscription (that I haven’t paid for in months) to edit all the photos on Lightroom. I edit out her face from the videos on Premiere Pro. And I even give my computer a virus downloading the perfect music for the videos (‘Oh Yeah’ by Yello). If I am going to damage Leonie’s digital footprint, I am at least going to do it professionally.
When it comes to posting this quality content, we try nearly every site we can find: Feetify, FeetLoversOnly, DollarFeet, FeetFinder, and FunWithFeet. We post around 20 pictures and videos on each site.
We wait patiently in anticipation for our foot lovers to see our creations. And after one week, we make an entire profit of (drum roll please) …
$6.
Needless to say, we are disappointed. My fantasies of becoming the Jeff Bezos of feet pics are trampled.
Turns out selling your feet doesn’t earn you financial success – or at least not straight away. For now, I would recommend sticking to the more traditional methods of earning money. Part-time jobs, selling on Depop, and the occasional plea to the bank of Mum and Dad.
Leonie isn’t too upset, and instead uses the opportunity to send the pics and videos to her boyfriend. As for my own short toes, they’ll just have to be content with continuing to walk me to my minimum wage job.