What the Fridge?

How the humble fridge can teach you so much

Many say the way to a person’s heart is through their stomach. This famous saying is undeniably true, good kai is the foundation of all, and any successful relationship. But, what they haven’t told you is that what a person eats - or for the purpose of this article, what they keep in their fridge - can tell you a lot more about an individual than you could ever imagine….

In all honesty, I dropped the ball in issue one by not introducing our lovely team. So instead of sharing a picture of their beautiful faces, and a corny paragraph about their fake hobbies, I thought I’d let you judge them based on the state of their fridges! Who ever said Massive doesn’t contain hard hitting journalism???

*I understand people are flatting, and not everything is theirs, but let’s just act like it is x

Marie

Marie is Massive Magazine’s Designer. She puts the hard shift in to create 99% of what you see in each issue of Massive. Her fridge is tame, nothing too out of the ordinary, but what really stands out, and makes me worry for the longevity of this mag, is what’s on top.

I’m no person to shame a few bevvies. Friday rocks around, you’re thirsty and all you can find is a bottle of Bailey’s… and a bottle of Kahlua… and a bottle of gin…. and a bottle of red wine…

If this is what happens after three weeks of producing Massive, I’m excited to see the bottle collection after twenty four!

Sara

Sara is one of the two talented illustrators for Massive Magazine this year. Her mahi is amazing, it really takes the magazine to the next level. Similar to illustrations, sauce also takes things to the next level, and Sara’s fridge has about 18 of them.

On a real note, this fridge kinda scares me. It gives me a flat of six students who all buy individual t-sauce, butter and garlic vibes. You just know there’s a mouldy creation creeping around the back of that fridge.

Would I eat from this? Hell no.

Lily

Lily is one of Massive Magazine’s feature writers for 2022. Her well researched writing has blessed my eyes each week, we’re super lucky to have her. I desperately wanted to use this story as an opportunity to roast the fuck out of my staff. Lily has slapped that silly dream right out of my head with this immaculate fridge.

Pop off Lily.

Elise

Elise is Massive’s News Editor for 2022. Elise has a nose for news, but I’m questioning her general sense of smell because there is no shot this fridge smells any better than it looks. I think one of my few phobias in life is jars filled with unrecognisable substances and brine. This fridge is full to the brim with unlabeled concoctions that scare the fuck out of me.

Are these just the finer foods in life that I can’t afford yet? Probably…

Sammy

Sammy is Massive Magazine’s News Reporter. She, like Lily, is one of the younger members of the team, and once again, another immaculate fridge. These two have put us old bastards to shame. I don’t know if it’s that enthusiastic youth students have nowadays, or if the rest of us are just slobs.

But either way, I’ve got some long hard reflecting to do :(

Mason

What can I say, a fridge that sums up what its like to live with three dudes. We’ve got an egregious amount of dairy products, a few sauces, mouldy bread, and not a vegetable in site. I might have cleaned up the fridge a bit before I took this photo, this was only because I didn’t want to lose any crumb of credibility I had left.

To all the Massive staff who did not contribute to this important kaupapa, all I have to say is shame on you. You passed up an opportunity to be fridge shamed after only knowing me for like three weeks. And to the readers, our dear faithful readers, I hope this has given you an idea of who is behind the magazine you cherish each week.