What is this? A Re O-week for ants?

Welcome back to Semester 2, kicking off Re-O Week here at Massey. But don’t get too excited just yet.  

In case I don’t moan it loudly enough during sex, I actually studied at Otago. And sure, I didn’t actually attend O-Weeks and Re-O Weeks (sorry to break it to you, but anyone who works in student media is secretly a massive nerd), yet the option was always available to me. I loved the thought that if I wanted to go to a DnB rave, I could! I want my rights, dammit! But looking at Massey’s line up this year, it’s pretty dismal. Re-O Week, or fuck, even O-Week for that matter, is a sober affair that resembles a middle-aged food festival more than a university fuck-fest.  

It’s not just a Massey problem, sure. The golden age of foam parties and UV lighting is long gone, banished to the dazzling early 00s where student execs still had golden coins within their vaults. But other universities around the country ARE doing cool, drunken things. Otago is hosting gigs with lineups like Wax Mustang, Mild Orange and Lime Cordial, whilst Auckland is doing a battle of the DJs.  

What’s Massey doing? Dog patting, snow cones, pool parties and movie nights. Sure, all well and good for a 12-year-old child. But for university students, it’s apparent that it’s just not enough. I love a good dog pat, but give me that alongside a party where I can do tequila shots off a hearty pair of testicles or tits.  

I honestly believe that the student execs are probably doing their best with their limited amount of funding and money. I’m also not a (total) idiot, I know that clubs in towns also hold events during Re-Ori. But with Massey LITERALLY rejecting students because the University has reached max capacity, the old tag-line of “oh, we’re too small to give you a student shop or host a party” is getting pretty fucking old. Go on, throw an old dog a bone. I want to throw up in a university bathroom and feel alive.  

In this week’s Massive we look back at the glory days of, you guessed it, Massive. It’s heartening, weird, and a little bit naughty. It’s also a good sneak-peak of the glory days of universities themselves. We used to have a plenitude of student bars throwing wicked affairs, not just bad cafes that close at 3:30 (seriously, what’s up with that? It’s not like student suddenly stop wanting coffee at that time). There were pool tables, all-night ragers, cheap jugs aplenty. Oh, how far we’ve fallen.  

This year, Covid-19 during O-Week got us down bad. Gigs were cancelled in Manawatū and Albany, whilst Wellington only carried on through piggy-backing off Victoria University. But Re-O Week is a chance for redemption! Too bad it’s aimed at primary school children. Hope you guys like finger painting.  

X 

Caroline