Weaving the wounds of Christianity with muka and feathers

Ngā whiringa mamae o te Hāhi ki te muka me te raukura 

Ko Ruawahia, raua ko Maungarangi ōku maunga 

Ko Te Awa o te Atua, raua ko Otara ōku awa 

Ko Te Arawa, raua ko te Whakatōhea ōku iwi 

Ko Muriwai raua ko Rangitihi ōku tīpuna 

Ko Ngāti Rangithi, raua ko Ngāti Ngahere ōku hapu 

Ko Rangitihi, raua ko Terere ōku marae 

Ko Aroha Wilson tōku Kuia 

Ko Gina Matchitt tōku mama 

Ko Aroha Matchitt Millar ahau 

Hei āpōpō  

Ka whatua aku makawe 

Ko raro tonu mai o tōku ūpoko  

Ki te muka 

Kei te whakaaro au ki taku Māmā, 

otirā, 

Ki tōna Māmā 

Ka kūmea mai rānei tēnei muka e rāua? 

Āno ko ngā taringa o tōku karangatahi 

Hōmai o Taringa kia Ngaua e Au 

Ko te kōkō Tui hoki tērā 

Kāore e kūmea e te muka mātauranga?  

He ringatoi tōku māmā, ā, he rite tōku kuia ki tōku tipuna kuia; he kairaranga ia. Ko te kaupapa o aku mahi toi Māori he tūhono i a au ki ngā mahinga me ngā mātauranga e mau nei i tōku whakapapa. Ahakoa kua motukia ngā here tūhononga tūturu e ngā tāmitanga, kei te rapu au i ētahi huarahi hou ki te kohi haere i ērā mātauranga.   

Ko te Hāhi tētahi kaupapa tāmi hei whakaparakaho i te mātauranga, ina rā, ko ngā mahinga ā-ringa e hāngai pū ana ki te wahine. Nāwai rā, i kaha rawa ngā āraitanga tuku mātauranga i pā ki ōku tīpuna. Kāore taku Māmā i whāngaia ki te reo Māori, ahakoa ko tōnā Māmā, he matatau. Ehara i te mea i whakaakona tōku kuia e ōna Kōkā ki te raranga, engari kia pakeke rā anō ia, kātahi ka tahuri ki te ako. Nā te hapū pea tōku tipuna kuia i whakaako ki ngā mahi raranga. Heoi, he rite tōku kuia ki a māua ko tōku māmā; i toro kē mātou ki waho atu o tō mātou whakapapa ki te ako i ngā tikanga. 

Ko te mamae ka ngaukino, ko te pūmotomoto ka rerehu i te motunga o te here tāngaengae ki te mātauranga i takea mai i Rangiātea, ā, tae noa ki te hekerangi o tō whāre. Ka tuwhera te  whatumanawa ki te ako, ko tōna rite, ko te ruawhetū kei te ūpoko o te pou hei pupuri i te hekerangi. Engari, ki te kore tō whare e kitea, me tatari, me ngākau tuwhera atu koe ki te toro ki wāhi kē, ki tangata kē tiki mai ai i ngā mātauranga. 

Nā te ako i te Tohu Toi Auaha Māori ki Te Kunenga ki Pūrehuroa, me te whai tūhononga ki taku Kaiako, ki a Karangawai Marsh, i whai wāhi ai au ki te ako i ngā mahi tīhorehore me te huhuti manu. Nāna ahau i ako ki ngā tikanga tapahi i ngā ioio o te kiri, arā, ko ngā karakia me ngā tikanga tāpuke i ngā taonga mahi katoa. He ōrite ngā tukanga arataki mai a Karangawai ki tōku kuia, nōna e whakatikatika ana i ngā kura hei raranga.  

Ka whakaaro ki tōku kuia, ā, mehemea i pā ēnei kare ā-roto ki a ia nōna e ako ana ki te raranga. Mehemea i toko ake te pātai ki a ia he aha ia i kore ai i noho ki ōna Kōkā ki te ako. Mehemea i heke ngā roimata i ngā wā kāore nei taea e ia te whakakākahu i ōna pūmaharatanga ki te kupu. Kia pēnei, ki te rongo o ngā kura i te kāuta, ā, kia rite nei te kakara o ngā rau harakeke ki tō te kakara ka rongohia i te kāinga o kuia. 

E kore au e mōhio rawa ki ngā tauwharewharenga o tōna ngākau, he kore nōku i pātai. Kāore aku maharatanga ki ōna hiahia ki te tuku mai i te reo Māori ki a ahau i te korenga ōna i whakaako i te reo ki tōna kōtiro ake. Kīhai rawa au i pātai me pēhea te hanga tika i tētahi putiputi, me pēhea rēnei te raranga kete. Ahakoa kāore aku kupu hei whakaniko i tāku e whakangoto nei, mā te aha i aku mahi o nāianei e rite ana ki ngā tikanga i whāia e ia i te wā i a ia.  

I tēnei rā  

Ko te akoranga mai a Māmā  

He whatu i tōku kete tuatahi 

He kāpuia, he pātahi tōna tūāpapa 

Ahakoa he rerekē tā kōkā bubbles 

Kua whiria, ā, ka tau tā mātou kōrero 

Ka mahara ki ngā tohe a bubbles   

Ki tōku kuia

Mō te āhua ki te ranga putiputi 

Ka kī ia, "He hanga rōhī tō kuia, ka hanga putiputi au" 

Ināinei, ka hanga i ngā mea e rua, ka whakaako ki tōku tungāne 

Words by Aroha Miller (she/her), Ngāti Rangitihi, Ngāti Ngahere 

Ko Ruawahia, raua ko Maungarangi ōku maunga 

Ko Te Awa o te Atua, raua ko Otara ōku awa 

Ko Te Arawa, raua ko te Whakatōhea ōku iwi 

Ko Muriwai raua ko Rangitihi ōku tīpuna 

Ko Ngāti Rangithi, raua ko Ngāti Ngahere ōku hapu 

Ko Rangitihi, raua ko Terere ōku marae 

Ko Aroha Wilson tōku Kuia 

Ko Gina Matchitt tōku mama 

Ko Aroha Matchitt Millar ahau 

Tomorrow  

I braid muka 

Into rats tails from the 

Base of my skull 

Thinking about my mother  

and 

Her mother 

Would they pull me by this muka? 

Like they pulled on my cousin’s ears 

Hōmai o Taringa kia Ngaua e Au 

Does the Tūī miss that pull of 

Knowledge too? 

My mother is an artist and my nan a weaver, like my great great grandmother before her. My toi Māori practice is about reconnecting with the practices and mātauranga held within my whakapapa. Though the original pathway of connection has been severed through colonisation, I am finding new ways to collect that knowledge.  

Christianity as a tool of colonisation has deemed mātauranga, specifically practices and craft associated with wahine, as invaluable. Eventually, the barriers to pass on knowledge grew too high for my tīpuna. My mother was never taught te reo Māori, though her mum spoke fluently. My nan was not taught to weave by her aunties, but instead learned later in life. My great great grandmother, Onewhero Paora, probably learnt raranga from her hapu. But my nan, much like my mother and I, had to seek out teachers external to our whakapapa to learn our customary practices. 

The mamae of having that line of generational knowledge cut as it is sent from Rangiātea down the heke of your whare, leaves an ache on the top of your head. The whatumanawa opens to receive knowledge, like how the divet in the head of a pou is meant to hold a heke. But if you cannot see your whare, you must wait and open yourself up to the possibility of knowledge coming from another source. 

Studying Māori Visual Arts at Massey and fostering a tuakana teina relationship with my lecturer, Karangawai Marsh, allowed me to be taught the practice of skinning and pelting manu. She taught me the process of cutting sinew from skin, including karakia and the burial of anything unused. Karangawai led me to the same process my nan would have used to prep her feathers for weaving. 

I wonder if when my nan was learning to weave, she had these big feelings too. If she ever asked herself why she never sat with her aunties and learnt from them. If she cried when she didn’t have the words to articulate the memories that came into focus. Like how the smell of feathers in the garage and scent of stripped harakeke smell like Nannie’s house to me. 

I'll never know for sure how she felt because I never asked. I can’t remember her trying to teach me reo Māori after she regretted not teaching her own daughter. Never asked what the right way to make putiputi is or how to start a kete. But while I don’t have the words to describe this feeling, at least now I can practice that same process she once did. 

Today  

Mama taught me 

To make my first kete 

Tightly woven with a flat base 

Though aunty bubbles did hers differently 

Braided, we agreed 

I remember Bubbles arguing  

With her sister 

My nan 

About woven putiputi 

She said Your nana makes roses, I make putiputi 

Now I make both and teach my brother