Ramming w/ Fergus: Reverse cowgirl

Q. Fergus help! My boyfriend wants to try reverse cowgirl, but idk what that is, do you?  

A. Aaaa yes, the old reverse cowgirl. I love this one. Let me explain it.  

Reverse cowgirl is when you use a guy’s dick like a gear shift. Take it out of park and into reverse. Instead of thrusting forward onto his dick, you thrust backwards. And you make a vroom vroom noise every time you do it.  

I learnt this new move from the cow across the road from my paddock. She caught my eye one morning and I immediately got a rock-hard boner. She snuck through the electric fence to meet me and altered her “mooooo” into a “vrooommm”. I was so turned on I kept moaning, “PUT IT IN REVERSE, COWGIRL”.  

Since then, I’ve guided all my hook-ups through the move. And I guess it's become so popular that your boyfriend wants to try it. News about me gets around fast. I am a trendsetter, after all. 

Next time you are bumping, put that dick in reverse and show your man what a hot cowgirl you are.