Alcohol is the number one drug causing me Hangxiety

Illustration by Annick Harvey

I am truly blessed to never get hungover, but the hangxiety always creeps up on me to ruin a perfectly good night.  

Hangxiety is the anxiety you wake up with the morning after a drunken night out.  

It’s when all the things you did the night before come crashing down on you and your makeup slobbered pillow.  

I wake up tense thinking why did I demand to take a 0.5 selfie with the bartender?  

Why did I text my high school boss to fuck off?  

Why did I start a conga line and no one joined in?  

Why did I feel the need to knock on my flatmates doors, who I barely know, and kiss them on the cheeks goodnight?  

Hangxiety ruins all my memories from nights out.  

In June, a study from the University of Otago found that alcohol was the number one drug causing the most harm in New Zealand.  

 When I saw the news, I rolled my eyes. DUH. Isn’t that so obvious. When does it not cause harm?  

I think my personal hangxiety stems from a place of feeling like I’ve lost control.  

I like the feeling of letting go when I’m drinking, but the next morning I hate the feeling of embarrasment that I did things I wouldn’t usually do.  

The cost of alcohol harm in New Zealand was $7.85 billion in 2020. Not million, billion.  

That’s $7.85 billion dollars worth of hangxiety - of people doing stupid things that they probably regretted the next morning.  

I’ve spent my own good money on buying drinks that will cause me hangxiety the very next day. Am I paying for my own hangxiety? 

As a first year uni student, I never suffered from hangxiety. 18 years old is a nice age to be where nothing you do really matters in the long run.  

But as a third year student, with everyone asking me what adult job I’ll get next year, how I present myself feels like it matters. But does it really?  

The main thing I tell myself when I get hangxiety is that no one cares about what I did last night, they are probably overthinking what they did too.  

Unless I did something outrageously bad like take my pants off to ride the mechanical bull with better grip, it’s safe to say people probably aren’t thinking about me.  

And if they are, at least I gave them something entertaining to talk about.  

Happy hangxiety people, I’m sure your friends don’t hate you.