Solicited Advice

Solicited advice is a weekly column where an underqualified anonymous guru answers the questions you want answered. This won’t include the stock-standard, sugar-coated advice you’re used to hearing – we’re talking about the truths that are REALLY on your mind. 

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How do I prove my flat earth flat mate wrong?

There comes a point where there isn't any point, hun. Flat earthers, by virtue of being flat earthers, don't really care about evidence so there's no evidence that you could present that could change that. Rather than trying to prove them wrong, my suggestion would be to emphasize how stupid the point of view is by asking if they think other absurd opinions are true, ie that birds are all robots and pointing out that they are aligning themselves with the likes of Alex Jones (who thinks that the parkland shooting was a hoax) and BOB (who thinks that we can pretend that airplanes in the night sky like shooting stars).

Best first date activity?

NOT THE MOVIES. If you are going on a date, ffs go and have a nice ol' kōrero. I'm a big fan of an old-fashioned meal. It gives a good opportunity to see how they treat wait staff (better be well or walk out) and see how they handle the payment scenario too. From there maybe go for a nice walk or do something sweet like bowling if the mood is right. I think it's good to plan for short and if things are good extend tho, in case they are a madman/madwoman/madlad (gender nonspecific).

Should I flat with my friends next year?

Um yes. I've lived with randos, I've lived with friends. If flatting shows cracks in a friendship, they were there all along. Living with your friends can be one of the coolest things ever - just make sure you are all on the same page, have lots of chats about expectations, how much support and space people need or don't need, what could annoy you about each other etc. Lay it all out and you'll be fine. I have lost one friend while flatting and it was nothing to do with flatting itself - he was a horrible selfish cunt x