Skin deep: how tattoos turned my confidence around
Looking at your body naked can be difficult. Confronting my bare skin in the mirror before I shower has led to a few meltdowns in my lifetime, because I didn’t feel at home in my own skin. But I’m here to share a little story on my shift in self-confidence, thanks to the sweet stab of a tattoo needle.
My tattoo journey started off in May 2019. I wanted a meaningful tattoo below the back of my neck, a Māori mama holding her moko to represent me and my mother. Let me tell you, the nerves were REAL!! I was chewing lollies like a mad person, clutching my mate’s hand like I was in a life or death situation, scrunching up my eyes so tight awaiting the pain. If you can’t tell, dramatic bitch is my brand. But after that first drag across the skin, a bitch was HOOKED. I got home from the studio and for days on end, I could not stop admiring myself in the mirror. I started to feel a new sense of joy and love for my body and my skin on a WHOLE new level I had never experienced before.
I decided from then on, I was going to continue getting covered in ink. The way it made me feel about my body was unreal, and I always wanted to chase that feeling. Why not do things that make us look and feel good, yanno?? We can literally do whatever we want in this life. I got 10 tattoos in the exact span of a year (legit, I went to the same artist an exact year later for my 10th tattoo). Some of them have meaning, like the letter ‘H’ on my wrist for my younger brother Hunter. Some really don’t have meaning at all - I got a fucking ice cream cone above my elbow just ‘cos it’s my favourite dessert. All of them, regardless of meaning, have boosted my confidence by a million.
One gigantic step in confidence for me tattoo-wise was getting my thigh tattoo. I grew up fat pretty much my whole life, meaning I’ve always had thunder thighs. They’ve always been my biggest body insecurity, and I fucking hated people looking at them or commenting on them. Never in my LIFE would I have guessed that I was gonna draw attention to them by getting them tattooed!! Younger me would’ve absolutely flipped her shit at the idea!!
But I knew that life was too short to hide my body forever, because my body is BOMB and deserves to be shown. My thick thighs deserve to be honoured!! I wanted them to look pretty, I wanted to feel more comfortable with them, and I wanted to feel more empowered in my own skin. So, I got a massive floral tattoo covering my whole left thigh. And let me tell you, that was one of the best choices I ever made. I had never felt more empowered in my entire fucking life.
My collection of ink has been more than an aesthetic fulfillment. It’s led me towards feeling more at home in my own skin. Every time I look at myself naked now, I feel like the baddest bitch in all the land. I feel more in control of my body through this empowerment, and it’s the BEST feeling ever. I’m not saying tattoos are some magical cure to confidence, I still have my shitty days like everyone else. But they definitely have helped me so fucking much. Our bodies are such a gift, and being able to cover them in art is such a blessing. If you’re feeling insecure about your body, BITCH go get it inked. Honour those parts of you that need extra TLC. Make them look as beautiful as you deserve to feel. Thank me later x