Shroomin’ Around

If you’re unsure about what you’re taking, don’t take it. Check out KnowYourStuffNZ for more info around magic mushrooms.

Magic mushrooms are one of nature’s little surprises, a tasty treat found in the harrowing depths of winter. Unlike other psychedelics, like LSD, they’re free! I mean, sure, you could pay for them, but where’s the fun in that? Part of the joy of these little fungis is to get a bunch of mates together, chuck on some gumboots, and go scavenging in the middle of God knows where. 

Before we kick off, just remember that magic mushrooms are a Class A drug in New Zealand, with possession carrying a maximum penalty of six months imprisonment and/or a $1,000 fine. But, let’s face it, people are doing them, so the least we can do is talk about how to do them safely. 

The Hunt: 

Mushrooms tend to spring up in winter around the first sign of frost, from May to September. Ideally, go on a clear morning after a few rainy days for maximum chances. Searching for these little gems will take a bit of time and effort; bringing mates will help speed up the grunt work. Facebook groups will often be able to advise you on specific haunts in your local area to trample, although, as a rule of thumb, you’re looking for nice, woody, mulchy areas. Think pine forests, or even urban wood-chipped areas. 

Places to Avoid: 

Spots too close to the road. These tend to be contaminated with heavy metals and chemicals from traffic that can cause bad long-term effects. 

Mushrooms growing on wood. Sometimes these suckers have been known to cause ‘Woodlover’s Paralysis’ which can leave you paralysed for several hours. It’s rare, but still a thing. At the very least, be cautious. 

Places that are likely to use weed killer or pesticides. Pretty self-explanatory. 

The Prey: 

Magic mushrooms are typically from the psilocybe species. That means you’re looking for a golden, wide cap with a white thick stem. Different species have slight variations around these basic features. For example, “liberty caps” have a distinct nipple on top of their caps, whilst “subs” or “gold tops” are more caramel to light brown on top. A key feature of all, however, is distinctive blue bruising of the white stem and cap. 

Blue bruising is a good sign, but make sure to watch out for copper-based sprays that can take on a blueish tone. Some councils and property owners use these pesticides, which is kind of fucked-up if you ask me, but that’s the world we live in. Obviously, don’t eat these guys. 

Once you find some shrooms, taking a picture and posting it to a Facebook group or a reddit page is always a good idea. And no, we’re not just talking about one blurry cap-shot that kind of looks like a testicle. Take multiple pictures of where you found the mushroom, and then the cap, the gills and the stem. I cannot recommend this step enough. There’s always lots of friendly folk happy to help out and ID your findings. 

If you want greater surety alongside a photo ID, consider making a spore print. Basically, cut off the stem, as close to the cap as possible. Put the cap, top up, on a white piece of paper, with a glass on top. Leave overnight, and check the next day to see the colour of the spores that have dropped. If the spores are purple to brown-black, and the flesh has turned more bluish, then that’s a good indicator that you might have the goods. 

As ever, googling “poisonous mushrooms NZ” is always a worthwhile step. Just in case. Please don’t sue us over this shit article! We needed to fill pages! 

Okay, you’ve got the right mushrooms. Now what? 

If you’re on medication, do some research as to whether it’s okay to even use shrooms. That being said, that doesn’t mean just go off them. KnowYourStuff discourages stopping medication use in order to do the deed, saying “Going off your meds can make the symptoms that made you go on the medication in the first place come back worse than ever.” I know it can suck missing out on mushies, but your mental/physical health is always more important, okay? 

Next, prepare your shrooms. For most forms of consumption, you’ll probably want your shrooms to be in a powder form. This achieved through a low-fan oven setting, door slightly ajar, until cracker dry, then blended. This can then be steeped in hot water for tea, or sprinkled into sauces for edibles. Sure, you can eat them raw, but like…at least season it, okay? Salt and pepper, babes. I’m not going to get into dosages, since that’s a sheer amount of maths that I’m too stupid to comprehend or write about. Just do some research, I beg thee. 

Now, get the vibe right. If you’re shrooming in your flat, maybe give the place a tidy beforehand. Don’t waste a trip just staring at the dirty dishes. If you’re heading outside, bring a backpack of water and some layers, know where the bathrooms are. It’s all about being able to relax and truly, truly chill. The more you can plan, the smoother your trip will be. Fuck it, even bring along some nice postcards of art or a colouring-in book. It seems lame now, but shit like this can help pass time when the peak of the high is over. 

So…probably don’t go clubbing. Too many unforeseen variables. Too many spilled drinks and sticky floors. If you’re an introvert like me, just get some close friends around (and not any that you secretly hate) and have some good tunes going on aux. My personal recommendation is Albion Place, hehe. 

A trip sitter is always a good idea. They’ll stop you from doing any stupid shit, be able to get help if the trip goes askew, and might even drive you to Macca’s at the end if you ask nicely enough. Oh, don’t drink beforehand. You’re in for a long trip and alcohol is a depressant. Enough said. However, maybe get in a meal beforehand. Psychedelics and eating don’t really go hand-in-hand, so kicking it off with a stomach full of food can stop you from feeling utterly wiped out at the end of eight hours. 

And of course, if at any point in the trip you start to experience severe pain, vomiting or lose consciousness, go to A&E immediately. Showing them a picture of the shroom you found will also be very valuable. It all comes full circle, huh? 

Overall, enjoy your little trip. Who needs overseas travel when you have mushrooms? Stay safe, stay hydrated, stay golden. I hope you experience a huge revelation about your life and decide that what you really, really, want to do is write for Massive.