Sexcapades - Like fine wine

Nothing was working for me. I had been on my grind, university all day, studying all night. Trying to find time for boys was next to impossible. This cycle continued for an entire 8 months, I was horny and ready to get back out into the dating scene.

It was my first night back on Tinder. Time to look for some company. I was approaching the end of my daily swipes when I realised none of these Wellington boys took my fancy. I’m not sure if it was their weird dress sense or the lack of facial hair, but nothing was working for me and I had to make a change. Queue the age change. I slid up the age ranges from my usual 18-22 to 28-50. I know, don’t judge me. I came across a very sexy man, we matched and he agreed to come over within the hour. I know as a woman I should be precautious when inviting over men old enough to be my father, but I was horny, and he was available.

When he arrived, it was a tad awkward. It’s what you’d expect, as an older dude we didn’t have much in common. He would talk about fine wines; I would talk about the new Scrumpy flavour hitting shelves next week. Because of this, we didn’t spend too much time chatting. You know the saying “with age comes experience”? It’s true. Never have I ever felt so sexually satisfied. I don’t know what it is with university aged boys, but they have no patience, no finesse. Their only goal is to get their dick wet, nut, and leave all before I can get aroused. This wasn’t the case for silver fox. He worked his magic for upwards of an hour, licking, biting and teasing his way through to a mind-blowing orgasm. I had the best sleep I've had in years.

So, PSA to all the university boys. If you want a repeat fuck, learn to take your time and please the women first. If you master this technique, we will come SPRINTING back because most of our sneaky links have no idea how to put us first.