Sexcapades - Catfish taste bad
Right, let's cut to the chase! Every gal loves a one-night stand, am I right? It's 2022 for god sake, who can be bothered with the whole ‘feelings’ thing. Not me, I’m more of a find a hot guy in town, slide in the dm’s of semi famous people to get laid type. But, this time was different.
This was my first time never seeing the dude before he rocked up to the crib to fuck. Exhilarating right? I had been passed on this guy's number from my mate. He had been described as a 6ft Italian stallion. Needless to say, I was excited and indescribably horny.
Anyways, I receive the up to text a little earlier than expected. Instead of the classic 2am, he had messaged me at 10pm, before I had started drinking. After feeling abit miffed by the whole process I decided a pre-town fuck would do me well. I hear a faint knock at the door and quickly rush to let in my knight-in-shining-armour. But to my horror, I’m met with a small, Mario looking man. At this moment in time, I’m convinced my friend had set me up, duped me into a situation I wasn’t prepared for. She was having pre’s in the room next door, so instead of turning the manchild away, I pulled a big middle finger at my friend and dragged Mario up the stairs.
I’m not one for all the pleasantries of casual sex, but this man doesn’t even stop to say hello. Instead he smiles intenself into my soul, and begins undressing his size 6 clothing. You probably guessed it, but we start having the worst sex you can dream of, and part way through he goes “is this working from you?”, like c’mon mate, surely you can through my lack of noise that I can’t feel a thing. After a solid 4 minutes of meek movement we stop and he lies next to me with a pathetic look in his eye. Finally I pluck the courage to tell him to leave before I get ready to head out to town.
Three hours later I end up back at my house with a new man who satisfies my unquenched thirst. Safe to say that the best tactic is the one you’re practiced in.
Don’t break what isn’t fixed, unless you want to be let down.