Ramming w/ Fergus: Farm roleplay

Q. Hey Fergie baby. The guy I’m hooking up with wants to try farm role play (he’s the farmer and I’m a sheep) but I’m not so sure… it’s giving bestiality vibes. 

A. I love it when you call me baby.  

But to answer your question, this guy is gross. My farmer is an ugly old man who probably has saggy balls – who would want to role play that!  

I’m into a lot of things, but bestiality is a level I won’t go to. I strictly fuck sheep, sometimes cows, on occasion ponies, and I’m always down to ram a border collie when I’m feeling submissive.  

Farmers give me the ick. They are always so conservative with their fashion choices. They wear so much camo sometimes I can’t even see them. The loose sweatpants and gumboots combo has no sexual flare. The most skin you’ll catch is some thigh if they wear stubbies. But underneath all the layers, it’s not a pretty sight. I once caught my farmer bending over to fill up a water trough and his ass crack was out. It was very dark and hairy. My consistent sex dreams were replaced by nightmares that night.   

If this guy wants to roleplay, suggest a sexy teacher, cop, flatmate, or just roleplay as me.  

I read on the Massey Confessions Facebook last week that someone wanted their boyfriend to cosplay as me in bed. I’m not surprised. Your boyfriend will never match my abilities, but put him in a furry suit, use your imagination, and just the thought of fucking me will make you cum. Make sure he adds in some roaring baa’s when he edges to make it realistic.