Which Drugs and Drinks Make Your Massey Degree?

Nursing 

Vodka Red Bulls & Adderall 

Nursing students are bred to be night shift warriors, with a blend of efficiency, responsibility, and stamina – just like their signature Vodka Red Bull with an entrée of Adderall.  

Chugging back an unhealthy amount of Vodka Red Bulls keeps them awake, slightly buzzed, and ready to work the morning shift after a party. For an extra boost, they’ll pop back some Adderall.  

Like their poisonous combo, they’re a mix of opposites – energised yet calm, buzzed yet focused – always prepared to keep the party going into the early hours before sneaking off with ninja-like stealth to start their shift. 

Communication 

Jacob’s Creek Sav & Cocaine  

Do you hear that? The sound of Taylor Swift songs, political debates, and the latest trending TikTok sound? It’s the music of Jacob’s Creek Sav mixed with a dash of Cocaine – also known as the Communication’s Buzz Collective.  

Just like a Jacob’s Creek Sav, these students bring sparkle to any conversation. And just like the mix of sav and cocaine – Communication students are addicting. Before you know it, you’ll be subscribing to their up-and-coming podcast or writing Instagram blog.  

Health Science 

Weed & Kombucha  

Health Science students (also known as Massey’s Wellness Warriors) are the unique combo of kombucha and weed: health conscious with a side of rebellion. Balance is everything, especially when it comes to gut health.  

At parties, these Wellness Warriors are found in a haze of smoke. Their mix of responsibility and relaxation keeps things light. They are very zen and relaxed... until they start advocating for the medicinal benefits of weed. They will stand on business.   

Fine Arts/Design 

LSD  

To find LSD in human form, look no further than Massey’s Fine Arts and Design students.  

Like a dose of acid, they turn any mundane scene into a canvas of imagination. Every interaction is a profound exploration of art, existence, and their soul. “Do you see the masterpiece I’m creating?” They’ll ask, as they stare intently at a blank wall.  

Just as LSD can expand the mind, these visionary students expand the horizon of art, one trippy moment at a time.  

Aviation 

Speights Beer 

A cold bottle of Speights best describes the cockpit commanders navigating their Aviation degree. The future pilots who are living their Top Gun dreams (if Top Gun was set in Palmerston North) are traditional, conservative, and predictable – just like a Speights beer.  

After spending a day crashing planes on a flight simulation and swiping through Tinder, you’ll find them at the pub with a Speights in hand.  

Don’t expect them to go too wild, because like their trusty bevvy, they’re more about consistency than surprise. 

Music 

Whiskey & Ecstasy  

Massey’s Commercial Music Maestros are bold, intense, and rhythm driven – just like a blend of whiskey and ecstasy.  

Like whiskey, they infuse the party with a warm, strong, and pungent presence. Add a dash of ecstasy when the bass drops just right, and they become the life of the party. Every beat is inspiration, every high a new muse.  

They might disappear without notice to draft a new track to upload on SoundCloud. But it won’t matter because like their drink-drug combo, the Music Maestros are smooth, delusional, and unfortunately addictive.  

Veterinary 

Tequila & Ketamine (obviously) 

The unexpectedly wild Vet students aren’t just good at helping cows give birth, they’re fantastic at mixing tequila with ketamine.  

The Ketamindful Vet students are the wildest and the most thoughtful in the room, balancing between their two drink and drug extremes. 

Like tequila, they bring in the heat and kick any party off with a bang. But add in some ketamine, they delve into philosophical musings about animal consciousness while the Communication students video them for TikTok.   

Horticulture 

Craft Beer & Edibles  

Massey’s Horticulture Green Team are the embodiment of all things natural… just like the homebrewed beer they make under their beds. Alongside their edibles made with homegrown cannabis, Horticulture’s high is as eco-friendly as it gets.  

They’re just as carefully cultivated and crafted as the plants they grow and the beer they brew. At any party, they’re the ones bringing the earthy, laid-back energy, spreading the green gospel with every sip and bite. 

Business/Finance 

Old Fashioned  

Just like an old fashioned, Business and Finance students have a sharp and calculated edge. With its blend of bourbon, bitters, and a hint of orange zest, they’re the combination of sophistication and a touch of risk.  

They approach every social gathering like they’re crafting the perfect cocktail -- strategic, precise, and always looking for a better offer. They treat relationships as investments and won’t hesitate to shift focus if a better opportunity comes along.  

Their goal is to ensure their life is as smooth and refined as their favourite drink.