Lit Fam or Shit Scam: NFTs
In 2018, Massive had a column called Lit Fam or Shit Scam where Kasharn Rao would review a fad of the time including Mr Go’s, Wish.com, and bitcoin. The difference between this review and Kasharn’s ones, is that I’m not actually going to live the experience. Kasharn would actually order things off of the internet or eat real foods … as far as I can tell he played some bitcoin simulation when he realised he couldn’t afford to legitimately invest in bitcoin. I’m going to judge from a distance rather than being a dedicated journalist of integrity like Kasharn. Sorry.
Today we will be doing a deep dive into the wonderfully confusing world of NFTs! Even though hot people, like myself, don’t need to understand NFTs, I thought I would shine some light on what they are and whether they’re lit or shit so that the next time you find yourself flirting with some old guy for free drinks you can impress him with your knowledge of made-up money things and maybe even get an invite onto his yacht! It worked for me!
What the fuck are NFTs?
Okay. NFT stands for ‘non-fungible token’. Non-fungible basically means super special, irreplaceable and unique – just like you! Five minutes in and I’m already leaning towards shit scam. I mean, who comes up with this shit? Okay, let’s try and push through this. NFTs are part of the Ethereum blockchain. Don’t worry, I’ve never heard of that either. Ethereum is this decentralized, ghost, ‘community-run’ platform which I guess is in charge of cryptocurrency? I really couldn’t tell you. It sounds like a made-up thing that’s real but it’s not and it’s everywhere but nowhere and probably in the cloud? Maybe it’s like a bank for crypto? Wait somewhere else is telling me it’s like bitcoin, like its own currency. FML, I hate capitalism. Anyways, this is how the Ethereum website describes NFTs: “NFTs are tokens that we can use to represent ownership of unique items. They let us tokenise things like art, collectibles, even real estate. They can only have one official owner at a time … no one can modify the record of ownership or copy/paste a new NFT into existence.”
So the vibe of NFTs seems to be like digitizing art collecting. In the same way rich people would bid for a Picasso piece for their private collection, I guess they can also do that on the internet now? It's the digital age, baby! From what I gather, having your little proof of ownership doesn’t stop anyone from using that art though. Kind of like how I can go on Google and see pictures of the Mona Lisa, but I will never own the legit Mona Lisa. Yeah, that makes sense in my little head. I guess it is like art collecting – artists can sell their stuff, people can buy it, people can invest in it and hope it goes up in value. Just a quick FYI: Logan Paul sold clips from his videos that are already up on his YouTube (free for all) for US$20,000. What the actual fuck.
Why is everyone talking about them?
The hype around NFTs is mainly from the way they have redefined a market and, even though no one is sure about the longevity of the market, NFTs do have the potential for incredible growth. Even though I mostly think they are stupid and confusing, NFTs have the power to do some good. When Russia invaded the Ukraine, the Ukrainian Government used NFTs to raise funds to support their military. These NFTs are a collection of illustrations with specific emphasis on the invasion, entitled ‘Meta History Museum of War’, and is a chronology of Ukrainian history. By April, they had raised over GB£100 million and President Zelensky had legalized the crypto industry. That’s pretty lit, to be fair.
But as you know, for every lit fam there’s a shit scam. CRYPTOCURRENCIES SUCK FOR THE ENVIRONMENT. “But it’s all online. How can a made-up internet thing impact the environment?” Um, not to be a bitch, but if anything ever involves rich people and capitalism you can almost guarantee the environment will suffer. Keep up. Cryptocurrencies require, like, a fuck ton of energy. More than some countries even need. Ethereum – which I now understand is the second-largest cryptocurrency network – is estimated to use 112.6 Terawatts of electricity per year which is more than the Philippines uses. Lol. One transaction on Ethereum uses the same amount of power that the average American household will use in nine days (Digiconomist, Ethereum Energy Consumption Index). That’s one transaction. Like, one trip to the vending machine for a Red Bull. Anyone else struggling to see anything particularly lit here?
Should you invest in NFTs? Or make your own?
Personally, I would say no. But I asked my friend Ella, who’s like, a legit artist, for her opinion. “I think [NFTs] are a new and innovative way of combining technology and art. It is something that totally abstracts our traditional concepts of what art making really is … But the concept of allowing capitalist consuption to be a part of the art world is something that is ancient in the art world. People have always been making art for consuption, whether conspicuous or public.
“It’s definitely not something that everyone can be a part of, but that is also the attraction. It’s a super exclusive world and you can only be a part of it if you are erudite on the subject!”
Hmm. My hot take is that invisible made-up things for rich people who can afford to burn money generally suck. From an artist perspective, I would totally get behind this if I had any talent and had the brains to make people invest in my art. From a consumer point of view, NFTs are confusing and make no sense. Like, just go watch Logan Paul on YouTube? I don’t care who has a special title saying they are the special owner of a special piece of art. But you know what, rich people deserve happiness too. And if owning a tweet, or a clip from a YouTube video, or a drawing of a monkey makes them happy, then Godspeed. I’ll just be focusing on paying rent next week, lol.
I rate NFTs 1.5 out of 5 Logan Paul's. Shit Scam Certified.
