Ramming w/ Fergus: Golden Showering

Q. Fergus, I need help! My boyfriend keeps golden showering me when we shower together, and I can’t figure out if it’s sexy or just gross. What do you think?  

A. Personally, I don’t like to be pissed on. However, I find pissing on others quite arousing. But I didn’t always feel this way.  

It wasn’t until I took the ‘Benefits of Wiz’ paper at Massey that I learnt all the vitamins that are inside your piss. It makes sense really, like when you drink a Berocca and your piss becomes neon orange. The lecturer taught me that our wee is a natural probiotic, with lots of nutrients and anti-aging properties.  

So, I see receiving a golden shower as an act of love. Your partner is gifting you vitamins and minerals. And also giving you a fake tan.  

I first tried out my newfound golden shower kink on a horse whose coat was looking rather pale. I was staying at my granny’s paddock at the time, and she was really excited to have me over. She was constantly looking for me every time I tried to get some privacy. So, I had to use the trough out the back for privacy. 

The horsey gave me the go ahead, and I started to piss on her legs. Unfortunately... my granny walked past. She’d been looking for me to give me a cross stitch. When I turned to thank her, I accidently got some of the golden shower on her. Sorry, gran <3 

But nevertheless, both the horsey and my gran were glowing the next day.