Is our identity holding us back?

If you haven’t picked it up already, Massive’s theme for the week is identity. This is a first for our magazine, but we thought identity as a theme would open dialogues on topics that are near and dear to ourselves, and our readers.

While brainstorming ideas for this editorial I was stumped. Ironically, in a magazine where I have a reason to blab on about myself, I found that trying to speak frankly about my identity was a painstaking process. I fought with the idea of talking about my cultural identity, but thought as a half cast, I wouldn’t be able to do this justice. You see, identity is a tricky subject to pinpoint, and to prove this to those reading, I ask you to answer this; who are you, really?

As you try to answer, you probably have some labels come into your head right away. Role-related labels like "student" or "sibling" for example, or maybe preference and personality descriptors like "fun-loving" or "sensitive". None of those labels are necessarily wrong.

But, your sense of identity actually can be a stumbling block. Cling too hard to the definition of who you are and you inadvertently stop yourself from taking positive journeys and having experiences that truly change and develop you. You can get sucked into a pit of "can't" and "not" that keeps you stuck.

How does clinging on too hard to your identity play out in real life?

It's rearing its head, for instance, when someone hands you the mic at karaoke and you laugh off the offer because you're "not an artist" or "can't sing". It happens when you tell someone you're a writer rather than a speaker, or that you can't lead just because you've always been a follower.

No matter the variation, the end result is always the same. You don't get anywhere different.

Now, I'm not arguing that you don't need a sense of who you are. You do. Psychologists have linked a sense of identity to healthy confidence and group seeking/inclusion for decades. Rather, the argument is against the idea that identity is or should be static.

Identities are not the fixed markers people assume them to be but are instead dynamically constructed in the moment. Like personality, identity is fluid. We build it slowly through everything we go through, our learnings, interactions and conversations (or lack thereof).

So, when you wake up tomorrow and are faced with a day filled with hard decisions, ask yourself what mold you want to press yourself into. The choice belongs to you, not what you perceive yourself to be.