Horoscopes - 21 March
Capricorn
You’ve enjoyed being a slob during isolation, but its time to seize the day! Get up off your ass and soak up the sun.
To numb the pain try: fresh air
Aquarius
Keep gaslighting, gatekeeping and girlbossing. Don’t take shit from a single person, you’re past that.
To numb the pain try: manifestation
Pisces
For someone so critical, you should learn how to take criticism from others. You aren’t always right.
To numb the pain try: opening your mind
Aries
Stop giving people the benefit of the doubt! Just because his friends are sexist, homophobic and racist doesn’t mean he has to be!
To numb the pain try: dumping
Taurus
You’re full of secrets. So mysterious no one can figure you out. Keep it that way, it makes life more interesting.
To numb the pain try: oversharing
Gemini
The assignment you’re working on right now, fuck it! Hand that bitch in and take a swig.
To numb the pain try: a fruity cocktail
Cancer
There’s this thing in life called boundaries. You should learn about them, apply them, and stop being a weird creep.
To numb the pain try: maintaing a 20-metre distance at all times
Leo
Slow down, don’t let life fluster you so easily. Things can wait. Prioritise what needs to be done first, then work your way through the rest.
To numb the pain try: deep breaths
Virgo
I’ve never met a Virgo who wasn’t hot, cool, and smart. But keep that ego in check, that will take you from a 10 to a 2.
To numb the pain try: humble pie
Libra
Try choosing emotion over logic. You’re always the sensible friend, and that's fucking boring! Let loose, baby.
To numb the pain try: three shots (for summer?)
Scorpio
You won’t get Covid, you won't get Covid. Say it with me now, you won’t get Covid. Scorpios, be resilient and you’ll beat the odds.
To numb the pain try: manifestation, again
Sagittarius
Stop buying shit you don’t need! It’s been over a month since you moved in to your new flat, you have everything you need…
To numb the pain try: deleting TradeMe