Horoscopes - 10 October

Capricorn

Time to book that vacay and shake your ass on a yacht..

Aquarius

Time to get an STD check. That rash isn’t going to go away on its own x

Pisces

Time to see a therapist you gaslighting and manipulative little snake.

Aries

Stop obsessing over that crusty white man and remember the baddie that you are.

Taurus

Stop being so hard on yourself, you are killing it in every facet of your life right now #slaytheday (except for you, Emily, you suck).

Gemini

Learn to listen to your friends’ advice and stop self-sabotaging please and thank you.

Cancer

Don’t do it. Seriously, stop it.

Leo

Stop looking in the mirror and start thinking about how your stanky breath has been negatively impacting your close relationships.

Virgo

In: Your beautiful smile. Out: Eating your own toe jam. (Are you okay?)

Libra

It’s your season, baby. Get out there and serve cunt.

Scorpio

Remember the ‘s’ in Scorpio stands for sex, not single and sad.

Sagittarius

You are being lied to.