Horoscopes - 18 July

Capricorn

Food for thought. Take advantage of DoorDash’s 50% off your first two orders. It’s like a reward.

What to expect this week: CHEAP FOOOOOD

Aquarius

Do you ever rest?! Give your mind and body a break this week. Fuck it, go get a massage.

What to expect this week: Happy ending

Pisces

It’s time to change things up! Get out of your regular routine, it’s causing you to slump.

What to expect this week: the unexpected

Aries

It doesn’t take a genius to see you’re not giving things your all. Write a to-do list and smash through it BEFORE you scroll on TikTok.

What to expect this week: Compliments, a lot.

Taurus

Is it COVID, is it the flu?! Either way, being sick is NOT what you need right now. Guzzle some lemon honey ginger and get back on the saddle!

What to expect this week: phlegm..

Gemini

Gemini, your kindness isn’t going unnoticed! I know putting yourselves before others has crippled your life to this point, but trust me, it will pay off soon.

What to expect this week: Compliments, a lot.

Cancer

Cancers you’ve tip-toed around the fact that you’ll actually have to go back to university this week. It’s not the end of the world buddy.

What to expect this week: 8 hours of boring lectures

Leo

Seasonal depression is very real, but you're kicking its ass by keeping warm. However, I do feel bad for your flat mates splitting the power bill.

What to expect this week: Heaters blasting 24/7

Virgo

Discipline is a lost art for our generation. You’re a direct example of this. All your lecture needs are an hour of focus, c'mon now.

What to expect this week: Headaches

Libra

I heard there are some pretty cool re o-week activities happening on campuses this week.. you should check it out (this is not a paid advert).

What to expect this week: A few hangovers

Scorpio

Who cares about saving money?!? Not like you can afford a house anytime soon. Go buy that thing you’ve always wanted!

What to expect this week: Expensive gifts

Sagittarius

Sick of your flatties yet?! Those first few months of fun times have quickly dissipated into squabbles about who left the pot out. I’ve got no advice for you, good luck.

What to expect this week: Passive aggressive messages in the group chat