Horoscopes (vol. 20)

Aries: Not to sound like your mother, but you need to eat more vegetables. Consider stocking up on some frozen peas for some lil meals?  

Te Reo word of the week: Hua whenua 

Taurus: Jeans are just not in your immediate future. Invest in some more sweatpants!  

Te Reo word of the week: Whakakākahu(ria) 

Gemini: Your zoom crush will turn into something more this week. Don’t be afraid to send the first message.  

Te Reo word of the week: Aroha  

Cancer: Go for some walks outside, I’m begging you. Fresh air will do you wonders.  

Te Reo word of the week: Hīkoi 

Leo: Okay, so you’ve watched everything on Netflix! Time to “borrow” your friends Neon password. White Lotus is really good, just a PSA.  

Te Reo word of the week: Ngenge 

Virgo: Work is on the backburner this week, and that’s okay. Productivity is overrated anyway. Start looking at little houses in the woods you could move to instead, learn how to milk cows.  

Te Reo word of the week: Whakatipu(a) 

Libra: Flatmate drama will emerge this week. Make sure to keep some extra toilet paper hidden in your room, just encase things escalate.  

Te Reo word of the week: Wharepaku 

Scorpio: Check your emails. Some good news will come to those who refresh thy inbox.  

Te Reo word of the week: Īmēra 

Sagittarius: Get off those fast fashion sites and just do your laundry. Please.  

Te Reo word of the week: toa 

Capricorn: You’ll have the urge to dramatically cut your own hair. Lean into it. Maybe it’s time for a fringe.... 

Te Reo word of the week: Makawe 

Aquarius: Breakfast is an important meal of the day. Stop skipping it and you’ll feel 10x better, I promise.  

Te Reo word of the week: Matea matū kai 

Pisces: Maybe cut back on the screentime darling? You don’t have to be contactable at every waking hour. Read a book or some shit. Tiktok can wait.  

Te Reo word of the week: pānui(tia)