That’s Cooked: Chappell Roan Cheesecake  

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Written By Anonymous

Art by Bella Maresca

  • 1 tablespoon of the gay Y.M.C.A 

  • A generous scoop of ginger curls 

  • ½ cup of lipstick (make sure to rub this on your teeth)  

  • A chopped-up subject of a midwest princess  

  • A wand and a rabbit 

  • A lick of lesbian horniness 

  • 10 years' worth of slow-rise fame  

  • A splash of red wine supernova  

  • A sprinkle of glitter, rhinestones, tassels 

  • 100 grams of glue stick (use this to glue down your eyebrows)  

  • A generous serving of cunt 

Mix everything together with a bedazzled cowgirl boot stomp  

Kayleigh Rose Amstutz, known as Chappell Roan, is a 26-year-old American singer and songwriter from Missouri. Her campy aesthetic and music is influenced by drag queens. Following her opening for Olivia Rodrigo’s tour and performing at Coachella this year, Chappell Roan has become very popular after almost 10 years in the business. Her songs HOT TO GO! and Casual are favourites among the queer community.  

 

Anonymous
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