Ramming w/ Fergus: Sex dreams

Q. Hey Fergalicious! My flat mate had a sex dream about me and I'm not interested. Now things are weird. What do I do? 

A. Why aren’t you interested?!?! This is the perfect time to play out that flat mate sex fantasy we all have. I once had a dream that I rammed my paddock mate up against the wall of the shearer's quarters. I pounded her against the corrugated iron until she came so hard the shearer came out and watched. I told my paddock mate about the dream, and we quickly made it a reality.  

It is so convenient to be fucking your flat mate. There has never been a more convenient fuck buddy. They are right there for whenever you wanna root. You get that woody in the morning? Knock on the bedroom next to you and see if they are horny. If they are anything like me, they’ll always be. 

If you really aren’t interested, there is only one solution – tell them you have a STI. This is a great way to avoid the awkward conversation of rejecting them. Those sex dreams will quickly turn to nightmares when they hear about your itchy undies. STI’s are no joke, so they’ll have no choice but to quickly run the other way. They might even move out, which will be the perfect chance for you to choose a new, hot flat mate to have sex dreams about you... ones that you’ll wanna make come true.