Exiled from Tinder
During lockdown, I faced the impossible: I got BANNED from TINDER. I have no idea why, maybe my bikini photos were too spicy or maybe some fatphobic fuckwits decided to report me just for existing. Whatever the reason, I was pissed. One of my favourite spaces for male validation and lockdown boredom was swiped from my pretty little fingers. I couldn’t even start a new account with another number because Tinder was tracking my goddamn IP address (fan behaviour, if you ask me).
Now if you didn’t know, once you’re banned from Tinder, you are banned for LIFE. They don’t offer a formal appeal process at all, which is total bullshit. Massive conversed with a handful of people who found themselves caught in the same situation, to discover the background behind their Tinder bans, how it affected their dating/sex lives, and their thoughts on not being able to appeal for their account to be reinstated.
One common theme that sprung up when asking about the reason for banning was sex work. Dora said “I got banned cos I told someone what I do for work which is Only Fans…. Tinder must not want us making bank from men on there.” Josie and Rachel suspected they got banned for having OF in their bios. Sarah had similar reasons, quoting “I’m a sex worker, so I think people were reporting me. Sex workers can’t date, apparently.”
For Aliyah, she had no idea why she got banned, telling Massive, “I wasn’t going against any of the rules and was being myself, but they decided one day to sign out everyone and not let me sign back in. Then they banned me with no explanation.” Erin, on the other hand, thinks she got banned because “I put a fundraiser in my bio and said if they donated, they could take me out on a date. I’m assuming Tinder might have seen it as escorting or something.” Generally, though, throughout all examples, most of the interviewees weren’t 100% sure why they got banned. They were simply going off what they believed might have been the reason.
All those interviewed said that being banned affected their dating and sex lives hugely, especially during lockdown. Sarah felt that Tinder was “literally the only way to meet people… my dating life is nonexistent now.” For Aliyah, having her Tinder banned meant she was a “lot lonelier… with lockdown and a new city, it’s hard to connect with people.” Dora also experienced a similar situation, saying “I feel like I can’t meet people (on the internet or in real life), especially because of this lockdown! But especially because Tinder is easy access to people in your area. There’s other dating apps, but mostly everyone’s on Tinder, so we don’t get the choice.”
Like Dora said, there ARE other dating apps. However, the general consensus was that the other apps simply weren’t as good as Tinder. Aliyah tried out Bumble and found it “10x worse. There’s not as many people on there and I find it a lot more annoying due to girls having to start the conversation, and I’m terrible at that.”
Erin also tried out Bumble and said “there’s the added pressure of replying within 24 hours, and I’m too busy to be checking Bumble that often”. She also tested out Hinge but found “it just had a lot of white men on it, and they aren’t my type”. Dora also made the comment (not naming specific apps) that “because I’m 21, most of my age group aren’t on other dating apps… there’s a lot of 28-40 year olds.” Josie said she didn’t try other apps in fear “of being banned again”, while Sarah on the other hand did indeed get banned off of all the other apps she tried.
When discussing opinions on Tinder not having an unbanning process, there was a lot of passionate points made from all those interviewed. Rachel came up with the idea that “you should at least be able to submit an appeal to have them look at it again. Or you should be banned for a week/month or something, not for good.” Aliyah believes an unbanning process is necessary, especially because “they don’t even tell you why you were banned”.
Dora and Sarah, both sex workers, were upset at how Tinder denied them human connection. Sarah noted that with all the lockdowns and declining mental health, Tinder “could be all someone has to receive any form of human interaction”, pointing out that Tinder “has a responsibility to take reporting and banning more seriously, and actually do some form of investigation”. In Dora’s case, she was upset because she believed the reason she got banned was “so fucking unfair on sex workers…. I think everyone should get a second chance.” Like Sarah, Dora also wants Tinder to revise their bans and “give people a trial so they can get a yes or no to getting their accounts back… everyone deserves human interaction.”
Tinder claims to be all about connecting people with others, helping people to find love online. However, by banning people without explanations, not properly reviewing their reports, and not even giving those banned a chance to redeem themselves, Tinder is harshly cutting more and more people off from opportunities of human connection. It’s unjust to ban someone from an app without giving them a reason why, especially when people can just report you for no reason. How are people supposed to improve their online etiquette otherwise?
More mahi needs to be done around refining their banning systems, unless they want to keep losing customers. They also need to accept that sex workers are just as deserving of human interaction as everyone else, and they should not be shunned from the dating world based on their choice of career.
If you want Tinder to shape up and sort their shit out as much as I do, SPEAK UP NOW. Send those long argumentative emails, call them out on their Instagram, do whatever you can. BOYCOTT TINDER 2021, let’s make it happen.