Editorial 5: Don’t tell me to harden up

This just in, New Zealand has been named the tenth most happy country in the world. 

Based on economic and social data along with people’s assessment of their own happiness, the UN-sponsored World Happiness Report reminds us that, despite our troubles, we have a lot to be grateful for… right? 

Aotearoa is known for its tough bloke, harden-up culture, but what irks me the most, is when someone patronisingly tells me that “other people have it worse,” and that I should be grateful.  

No shit, Sherlock. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that people have it way harder than I do, but when has saying these words ever helped ANYONE?!?  

For someone to come out and say this just reinforces the idea that my feelings are invalid, and that I shouldn’t voice them. This leads to people bottling up their emotions as they don’t feel worthy of complaining. All because, someone didn’t have the emotional intelligence to provide any form of support. Shit, right? 

A concept that I’ve come to grips with over the last year, is not comparing one person’s hardships to the hardship of others. When someone tells you they are going through a rough patch in life, for them, this may be the toughest challenge they’ve ever faced. The best thing you can do is help them in whatever way they need. This could be a shoulder to cry on or a keen ear to listen. Just don’t be a dick. 

Also, for people struggling with mental health, don’t wait for them to contact you. Reaching out to them can make a world of difference, and sometimes asking for help is too much of a task, or feels like a burden to do so.  

I’m no expert, but I hope these tid-bits help you help others. Anyways, we’ve got some amazing pieces scattered throughout Massive’s hauora issue this week. I hope you learn a little about different ways to deal with your mental, physical, spiritual and whānau health throughout this issue.  

Just remember, if you are in need of help contact … 

Kia pai tō ra,  

Mason Tangatatai