"I'm just a Jim looking for my Pam”

Stop putting toxic characters in your Tinder bio  

Swipe left. Guy holding fish. 

Swipe left. Guy chugging a beer. 

Swipe left. Guying holding a fish WHILE chugging a beer. 

Finally, you see an artsy type. Intrigued, you scroll down to the bio. “… could you be the Pam I’m looking for?” You blush at the thought. Maybe you are the Pam. THINK AGAIN. Don't let the "aww” factor fool you. 

Millennial media we watched growing up exposed us to the worst examples of romance imaginable. Who cares about the nagging and pressuring if there’s one giant romantic gesture to overshadow all of it. 

There are a few characters who have held more influence than most. So much influence, in fact, that some try to build their dating profile based AROUND these characters. 

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Ted Mosby 

Tinder bio 

Just tired of looking for “the one”, you know? 
Ready to settle down, until I’m not. Let me waste your time while I wait around for my Robin! 

Would love to sit in my apartment and correct every little thing you say. And if you hate Star Wars, we’re done. AHAHA just kidding... or am I? 

There are so many people in this city – the odds of you being “the one” are astronomical. But I’m willing to try! 

(If I don’t think you’re “the one” within five minutes of meeting, I won’t call you back.) 

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Ted Mosby from How I Meet Your Mother is only ever looking for “the one”, and he gets weird about it. Like, saying I love you five minutes into his first date weird. While settling down isn’t necessarily a bad thing, obsessing about it as hard as possible with every girl you meet is. As a person he can be rather endearing. But he’s an idiot. The type of idiot who cheats on you with the girl he liked before you as soon as she’s available.  

If someone references Ted in their bio, they probably think he’s the loveable hero and not the selfish wad he actually is. Also, in a story about how he met his (spoilers) passed away wife, he spends so much time talking about Robin that his kids tell him to go ask her out. Yeah, that's shitty.  

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Jim Halpert 

Tinder bio 

I enjoy bullying my coworker under the guise of it being a prank! 

I’m ALWAYS in the right, no matter the situation. 

Will fully push your boundaries and then feel bad about it when you call me out #imtheworst 

I take NOTHING seriously and will even do shit behind your back and get mad at you when you do the same. 

Are you the Pam I’ve been looking for? 

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“But he’s a nice guy! He got Pam!” 

NO. Jim from The Office pursued a person after she said she wasn’t interested, while bullying a co-worker. Jim completely falls into the “nice guy” category.  

If anyone says they’re just looking for their Jim or Pam, they probably use weaponised incompetence to get away with everything. 

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Scott Pilgrim 

Tinder bio 

Preferred age is 17 to 25, any older ain’t for me! 

Likes: Music you haven’t heard of, like Weezer, Pixies, Nirvana 

Dislikes: Cheaters, unless they’re me! LOL 

I’m just looking for the literal girl of my dreams, my Ramona. 

Literally just wanna obsess ova u xxxx 

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Charming despite being a bit of an ass, this harmless yet soft-looking fellow gets obsessed easily. There is NOTHING romantic about obsession, and in some cases, it becomes a crime. Also, the biggest red flag – dates high schoolers in his early 20s because other people are repulsed by him. 

Okay this is kind of a stretch, as you’re meant to think Scott is a goober. But also, the film (not the book) really wants you to want him to end up with Ramona. And the amount of people I’ve seen comparing their relationship to Scott’s or “looking for their Ramona” really justifies his placement here.

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What I wonder, is why so many opt for the tired cliches of referencing these walking red flags. Jim is an obnoxious dick who pushes his partner’s boundaries, Ted gets way too intense way too quick, and Scott LITERALLY DATES A CHILD TO GET OVER HIS BREAKUP. These representations of love aren’t wholesome, they’re toxic and gross. 

I tried to look up who some green flag males in popular western media are, but all I found was ONE article which listed three characters, one of whom is arguably a bit of a childish tool – Jake Peralta from Brooklyn Nine Nine.  

Is the bar for romance really so low that TV can make the most awful person seem so ideal that you’d want to either be them, or find them IRL?  

Definitely.