Casual racism: the definitive review

This is from every person of colour that has been subject to yours or someone else’s casually racist comments. Do better.

“You’re really pretty for a *insert ethnicity* guy/girl” 8/10

Thank you so much for thinking you’ve given me a compliment when actually you’ve reinforced the idea that people of colour don’t meet the Western standards of beauty and that I am an outlier to the norm that you perceive. You would of course be wrong about that and we will be filing you into
“Swipe Left” quality people. We feel bad for you that you are so limited in your taste in people that you don’t see the beauty in every sort of person, irrespective of the amount of melanin their body produces.

“I don’t usually go for a *insert ethnicity* guy/girl” 7/10

No surprise there Jacob, seeing as the majority of your body count comprises of Caitlyn’s and Georgia’s. And now you find yourself in the novel situation of stepping “outside” your comfort zone, using this as an excuse to say really racist things around your friends and justify it because, “I slept with one before”. Keep in mind, the moment you say that ruins any chance of you getting into my pants; I have removed my dick and placed it back in my clutch.

POC that grew up in NZ: “Yea, I went back home for the break”. Casually racist person: “Oh you mean *insert where they think you’re from*” 8/10

This one is for my POC’s that have grown up in New Zealand: I’m from Auckland, Emma, and yes it was racist for you to assume that I’m from somewhere else. Regardless of whether or not you know I’ve grown up here or even born here, it is incredibly tiny-minded of you to infer that I was talking about whatever country you have (again) assumed I’m from. When you assume, you make an ass out of you and just you. Next time, if you really want to know where I went, ask the question, “And where is home for you?”

“You’re so exotic” 5/10

Mmmm yes daddy fetishize me more. I’m so glad that I can help you fulfil your spicy, oriental fantasy, because those are definitely the words you used to try and butter me up. I am extremely fascinating because I come from the country that gave you the number zero or the country that Marco Polo took from to give you spag bol. I am not, however, going to teach you the Kama Sutra so put your socks back on and leave.

“Yea, but you’re not really *insert ethnicity*” 7/10

Oh, because I’ve had to assimilate to Kiwi culture because it can actually be dangerous if I didn’t? Yes, please praise me for having to adapt to your way of living to fit into a society that still thinks it’s okay to refer to people from China as chinks and complain about Indian people smelling like curry. I’ve had to act this way to get anywhere in this country, so it means so much when you praise me for suppressing my culture so that you feel more comfortable around me.

Speaking extra slowly around someone of colour 6/10

How considerate of you to match your talking speed with the speed of your brain. Instead of convincing yourself that you’re being considerate for being inclusive, what you failed to realise is that I probably have a better vocabulary than you because I’ve had to learn to speak another language by living here.

*introduces self* “Oh damn, do you have a nickname?”

No. I don’t. What I do have is a multi-syllable name that requires you to open your mouth just a little bit more than normal. And it is possible to say it without trying to justify imitating whatever accent you think fits my name. If you can pronounce Schwarzenegger or Cumberbatch without batting an eyelid, then you can make the effort to not belittle my literal being.

“Teach me swear words in your language” 5/10

Bold of you to assume that I can speak enough of my mother tongue to know the swear words. And even if I did, for you to only find value in expletives of a language that is thousands of years old for your own crude entertainment is just sick. Just so you can blurt them out to other people that speak the language for a giggle.

“But don’t all lives matter?” 10/10

Not until the ones that have been persecuted and discriminated against are given the same respect and importance as your privileged ass. Luckily for you, speaking from a position of power, you have not experienced any of the difficulties and obstacles that the rest of us have to face because we came looking for a “better life” in your society when instead we’ve been met with prejudice and apprehension.