Where Viets Kiss

“Oh, ladies, is this the weekly gathering session?” asked Mr. Mechanic, who just joined the group from across the street. The group, consisting of three members besides himself, often met to discuss tales around the village.  

The much-condemned subject of this meeting was Thin Lip, the daughter of the village dressmaker. The other day, Mrs. Big Tooth saw a short, young man drive beautiful Thin Lip home at around 11pm in a white, decent car. Mrs. Big Tooth doubted he was a good boyfriend, because no good boyfriend would take his girl out that late. 

But it turned out Thin Lip was not a good girlfriend, either. Yesterday, they saw Thin Lip press a tall, full-sleeve tattoo guy against the public wall just across the street. What a terrible day it was to be able to see! Thin Lip poked out her tongue like an eel slipping right into the tall guy's damp cave. 

So, they stared, because they had never witnessed such a strange thing in this village. The stare was so loud that Thin Lip heard it and stared back. 

A sprinkle of tiny drops ejected aggressively through Mrs. Big Tooth’s teeth. “One can love by taking care of her partner when they’re drunk or giving home-grown vegetables to her friends. But instead, she kissed in the bright light of the public! She has dirtied the subtle art of intimate love.” 

Meanwhile, Mrs. Green Hat’s grandson had a different concern. “Mr. Mechanic, do you know yesterday Ms. Thin Lip kissed at the wall where you often pee? It must have smelled funny there. But Mr. Mechanic, why do you do that? You’re not a doggie?” 

“What are you talking about?” Mrs. Green Hat hissed. Her face turned purple, which looked quite funny under that green hat.  

“Nana, you and Mrs. Big Tooth saw it too, but isn’t it weird?” 

“Mr. Mechanic, please don’t mind his words. He’s just a kid.” Then she turned to her grandson hurriedly, “Enough for today, let’s go home.”  

*** 

Mrs. Big Tooth had never been so silent on her way back home. Even though he was a clever child, he was probably too small to understand common sense. 

In this traditional Vietnamese village, we might urinate on the street, but we kissed in the bush. We might urinate in the light, but we kissed in the dark. Common sense to every Viet.  

Kissing was a sensual, intimate act that any well-educated person would feel so embarrassed to do in front of others. And of course it was not nice to urinate on the street, but it was understandable. Gotta go when you gotta go. Others would look away to give that person some privacy. There was nothing strange about the scene that one needed to investigate.  

The second thing that blew Mrs. Big Tooth’s mind was that when Mrs. Green Hat and her grandson were about to go home, Thin Lip’s boyfriend appeared and picked them up. The same young man in the same white car. Mrs. Green Hat called him an “Uber driver.” Oh. 

Thin Lip did not have two boyfriends.  

And now the worst tragedy among all was awaiting Mrs. Big Tooth. The rattling chain. The clamping wheels. The bouncing pebbles. A group of rude cyclists swerved past her and knocked her off-balance.  

In the next few seconds, Mrs. Big Tooth’s face would plunge into a soft yellow puddle. It was that damned wall again, where Thin Lip had kissed, where Mr. Mechanic had peed, and now, where her lips were about to fall upon. 

A rank, yellow stench engulfed her nostrils. Her green fingers were a blink away from the damp, disturbing yellow.  

But they landed on a warm and dry yellow instead. The yellow hand which had pressed a tattooed guy against this wall. Mrs. Big Tooth had never felt a hand so warm and dry.  

“It is not nice to have your lips there. Trust me,” said Thin Lip as she pulled Mrs. Big Tooth back on her feet. 

“Then why did you? You should have just done all that l-love stuff at home.” 

“It was not a nice scent, though I’m gonna remember it when I leave this village and kiss somewhere dry and clean. Somewhere no one would stare at me like I have done something wrong. But I’m gonna miss this feeling, of doing the most intimate act with my lover under that intimate scent. My people’s scent.” 

That girl just saved her and now she was talking nonsense. Mrs. Big Tooth furrowed her brow. She couldn’t understand any of Thin Lip’s words. Those abstract, ridiculously romantic words. Yet although she couldn’t understand, hearing those nonsense, loving words, actually vibrated something in her chest. Like someone was trying to dig up her arid chest to plant a tiny seed. 

The next morning, to her surprise, Thin Lip received the biggest and greenest lettuce, covered in morning dew, fresh from her new friend’s garden.