Berocca would make me win the Olympics (not sponsored)

Berocca ingredients:  

Vitamin B1 (Thiamine Hydrochloride) 15 mg 

POWER  

Vitamin C (Ascorbic acid) 500 mg 

GAINS  

Calcium (as calcium carbonate and calcium pantothenate) 100 mg 

WISDOM  

(WARNING: Will make your pee yellow by 10am) 

The way it fizzes and bubbles in a glass of ice-cold water. The subtle noise it makes when bursting to life, like an Olympian rising up. The neon orange reflects off my table. Sweet citrus flavours bring my senses to life. The urge to gulp it down in one go takes over. I swirl the cup when I near the end to make sure I don’t leave anything behind. “Aaaaa,” I exclaim in relief. I am electrified, ready to take on anything. Perhaps even the Olympics.  

Emma Chamberlain has her coffee. Hailey Bieber has her Erewhon smoothie. I have Berocca.  

An orange and mango flavoured Berocca is how I start every day. This craze was built into me during my youth, with my father’s slogan being “Berocca fixes everything”. I always thought this was an exaggeration. But in the age of burnout, Uber Eats, Covid, and drinking, I know my father was right.  

I’ve tried all the vitamins, supplements, immunity shots. But nothing compares to a simple Berocca tablet. Perhaps the invincible feeling it gives me is what is gaslighting me into believing I would win the Olympics.  

You won’t find any missed three-pointers, weak butterfly strokes, or failed lifts with me and my Berocca.