A Sore Bitch with Endometriosis Reviews Painkillers
PSA – I have severe chronic pain; I’ve had all of the below meds and this is purely based on personal experience and preference. This is in no way professional medical advice, lol. If you’re struggling with pain, talk to your doctor. And if you’re thinking you’re addicted to pain relief, you probably are. Again, your doctor knows better than a shitty student magazine. Although, just a heads up, Countdown Pharmacies and Chemist Warehouse will fill your prescriptions for free! Go hard fam.
Paracetamol is used to treat different types of pain including headache, migraine, period pain and aches’n’pains associated with colds and flu. It is the most commonly used pain relief medicine in New Zealand.
PARACETAMOL:
7/10 for pain relief.
Side effects – nah.
Rare but if your blood pressure drops or you have an allergic reaction it’s serious.
If you overdose, it can fuck with your liver, so follow packet instructions.
Accessibility – easy and cheap.
Over the counter, without prescription. Very cheap and fucking easy to take.
A great regular dosage pain killer, very short-acting.
Supermarkets have a limit of how many you can buy, but honestly that’s not a terrible rule.
NSAIDs (Non-steroidal Anti Inflammatories) are used for short-term pain like when you have an injury or a flare-up of inflammation or pain. I miss the days when these were coated in a delectable pink strawberry(?) flavour. I would pop that shit like three times a day. Do not double up NSAIDs; don’t take Ibuprofen with other less common prescribed ones like Naproxen, Voltaren, Ponstan, Celecoxib, etc. You will OD. You can, however, mix NSAIDs and Paracetamol, leading to the infamous combination of Ibuprofen and Paracetamol that gets me through a Wednesday morning. For endometriosis, I’ve tried of all the NSAIDs, and only Ponstan has made a difference.
IBUPROFEN
6/10 for muscle pain relief.
Does the job if your pain is below a pain scale of 5.
Side effects – meh, I don’t get any immediate ones, but most common are heartburn, indigestion and stomach discomfort.
I’ve heard if your stomach is a weak bitch, you can be nauseous, and have diarrhoea, but that’s not a typical side effect.
Accessibility – easy and cheap.
You can purchase almost anywhere without a prescription.
Opioids can be used for moderate-to-severe short-term pain like after an injury or surgery, or for ongoing severe pain. They aren’t super recommended for nerve pain because they don’t greatly improve pain levels or help you to be able to do the things you want to do. That doesn’t stop doctors handing them out to me like candy though. Overall, they clog up your arsehole like nothing else. They can work and make a huge difference, but you’ll probably feel sick and sleepy. Oh, and they’re really fucking addictive.
CODEINE
10/10 for pain relief.
Side effects – works like a charm but addictive.
Most common are headaches, drowsiness, dry mouth, altered vision, shortness of breath, nausea, vomiting, skin rash, constipation, and itching.
A fun time for sure. Will knock you out if you take ‘em in the evening.
Accessibility – moderate, and still pretty easy to obtain.
You’ll need a prescription from your doc to get some. Hospitals will send you home with a bottle full of them though. Careful with regular dosage, because it’s very easy to get addicted.
TRAMADOL
7/10 for pain relief.
Side effects – It either works magic or makes you feel worse.
It’s one of those drugs you have to try once to know if it’ll make the achy shaky go away. Sadly, if it gives you persistent nausea/vomiting it’s probably not the drug for you.
Accessibility – easy to medium.
Every single nurse/doctor’s first suggestion to me when I go into hospital for endometriosis flare ups.
MORPHINE
10/10 for pain relief.
Side effects – plug-like constipation (ew), cooked asf and withdrawal is wild.
Same as codeine, but there are long term effects to be mindful of. Your body can also become used to it.
Accessibility – difficult.
Morphine is truly the nectar of the gods. It’s a very controlled substance.
They’ll only hook you up with a morphine IV if you are post-operation, or in hospital after a severe accident. Not like a ‘broken arm from skating’ accident, more like a ‘got hit by a van’ accident. I’d know. I got a beautiful red button that I could press every 60 seconds that sent morphine straight into my veins.
Gabapentinoids were originally an epilepsy drug. Opioid addictions were skyrocketing so docs started prescribing this first for spinal injuries and then all sorts of nerve pain and even restless legs syndrome. But adverse reactions are substantially higher if you take gabapentin and an opioid lol. Withdrawal symptoms are severe, so talk to a doctor before going on it, please.
GABAPENTIN
0/10 for pain relief. Some find it useful for neuropathic pain, but it’s never helped me.
Side effects – way too many to be worth it.
Most common are abnormal eye movements that are continuous, uncontrolled, back-and-forth, or rolling, clumsiness, constipation or diarrhoea, difficulty speaking, drowsiness, dry mouth, nausea, and vomiting.
Accessibility – moderate.
Most doctors will try to put you on this. Gynecologists in particular love to hand this one out. Tell them no.
Tricyclic antidepressants are usually used to treat depression but low doses can relieve some types of chronic pain such as nerve pain. They have also been found to improve sleep and help with relaxation.
AMITRIPTYLINE
3/10 for pain relief.
Side effects - got me way too fucked up.
Most common are tremor, vision problems, increased heart rate, dry mouth, dizziness, fatigue, constipation, and increased appetite. Plus, it fucks with your libido. Apparently as effective as Gabapentin but you get worse reactions to it.
Knocked me out in lunchtime in high school. I could barely breathe and felt like I was gonna die.
Accessibility – moderate
May induce psychosis and mania so stay away if you have mental health concerns or have bipolar disorder.
WEEEEEED
We all know that unless you green out, having a cone is great for pain relief. CBD is lifechanging for many people. Massive wholeheartedly endorses it.
WEED:
10/10 for pain relief.
Side effects – depends on the person and THC dosage.
Accessibility – easy.
Weed is easy to access. I can think of at least five people I could hit up right now to get a tinny.
CBD is slightly more difficult; green fairies are a godsend. They are folks who are growing their own and sell it to chronic pain sufferers. This is because legal medicinal cannabis is hard to get a prescription for and it costs a fucktonne more.
If you need a hookup, ask around, there’s plenty of fairies saving lives out there.
So go forth and manage that pain! Just a heads up, Countdown Pharmacies and Chemist Warehouse will fill your prescriptions for free! Go hard fam.
If the content of this article affected you in any way, don’t be afraid to reach out to these support numbers:
Alcohol/Drug Helpline: 0800 787 797
Healthline: 0800 611 116
Lifeline: 0800 543 345 or (09) 522 2999