Editorial: The Closet is Glass

Kia ora folks! I’m Natalya, a second-year Game Dev student, Massive sub-editor, and guest editor of the queer issue.  

My job at Massive involves reading through all your horny sexcapades, Fergus’ sex advice, and writing your juicy horoscopes. But despite all the haunting articles I read and edit every week, being offered this guest editor job is an experience I won’t soon forget.  

It was a sunny Wednesday afternoon on campus, and I was wearing my go-to outfit of cargo pants, crop top, button-up, and silver rings. I had barely crossed the threshold of the Massive office when I was cornered by our beloved editor and designer. 

Editor Sammy looked me up and down, “I, um, don’t want to assume… but are you–” 

A hesitant Sammy was interrupted by designer Bella lunging across the room and drop-kicking her out of a nearby window. I rushed valiantly to Sammy’s aid (I wanted to keep my job, thank you very much). But as I rolled up my sleeves to swan dive after her, I was stopped by an outstretched hand. Bella, in an eerily accurate queer parallel of the iconic Uncle Sam’s We want you! poster, stared me down with a pointed finger. 

“You’re queer, right?” 

The way they framed it sounded more like a statement than a question. I look down at the aforementioned combo of cargo pants, crop top, button up, and silver rings.  

“What gave it away?” 

We looked outside to see if Sammy was okay. To our surprise, Fergus the Ram caught her below the window and carried her bridal style back to the office.  

As we watched the duo, Sammy staring up lovingly at the ram of her dreams, Bella and I locked eyes with a shared thought: What is going on with straight people?  

This is the queer issue after all, so we needed to give Sammy a common queer experience to bring her down to earth.  

We locked her in the closet.