Editorial: Free the Vibrator

Two weeks ago, NZHerald reported a mother mortified to find vibrators on sale at Sylvia Park’s Chemist Warehouse while shopping with her 16-year-old daughter. It seems like this lady has a stick up her ass (she should have something else up it).  

When the mother was asked what she found so upsetting she said, “I feel like doing something like that is normalising young girls to think it’s absolutely fine to be using this equipment.” For the record, it is more than fine.  

This issue reminded me of a segment on Seven Sharp from 2022, about the NZ sex toy company normalising women’s pleasure, Girls Get Off. In the segment, the word ‘sandwich’ was used to replace the word ‘vibrator’.  

At the time, I thought this was a clever and funny loophole. The reporter in the segment says, “Here at Seven Sharp we like to pride ourselves on being a family programme. So today, the product that these ladies make isn’t gonna be called what it is, instead we’re gonna call it sandwiches.” The vibrators are hidden in a piece of bread, like a sandwich.  

Looking back now, it feels counterintuitive to talk about normalising something while censoring it. At the end of the segment the women were told to say the real word once. They hold up the real thing and say in unison, “normalising vibrators”.  

Jo Cummins, co-founder of Girls Get Off is grateful for the story, however, doesn’t appreciate ‘vibrator’ needing to be censored for TV. She tells me, “So many other topics are traumatising on so many levels.” She makes a good point, as the news will often show gory realities like death and war. Cummins says, “I just simply don’t understand how being exposed to these things is more inappropriate than something that can help promote healthy conversations around sex, pleasure and consent.”  

So, I call up the Broadcasting Standards Authority and the legal manager hears me out. They say no words are outright banned from TV and it's all about context. “One word could go over kids’ heads and in the right context might be fine. But a graphic depiction of a sex scene could be a little bit trickier.” I can understand this, however, nothing like a sex scene or someone actually using a vibrator was included in Girls Get Off’s segment.  

The legal manager says, “The authorities always recognised that news is not for children and that parents have an obligation to be monitoring their kids.” If so, then perhaps news platforms should be more open minded to talking about sex and pleasure freely. 

The Broadcasting Standards Authority sends me their research titled, Language that may offend in broadcasting. Overall, it says you can use a word when the context surrounding it isn’t offensive. In the context of a women-run empowering sex toy company, I don’t see how the word ‘vibrator’ is offensive.  

NZHerald received over 4,500 comments on Facebook two weeks ago in response to the prude mother. Good points were made about hiding sex toys. Many said vibrators on show is a chance for parents to educate their kids. One commenter says, “My kid learned about sex toys in Year 9 health. Younger children won’t know what they are, and if they ask you just say ‘No those are for adults’. It's not that hard.” Another commenter says, “Why should sexual health be any different to physical and mental health.”  

It makes me think about all the other stories we are exposed to freely on news platforms — car crashes, stealing, messy politics, mental health crisis’... war, even. If the context isn’t explicit, I don’t see why sex toys can’t be talked about freely in media. I guess I didn't realise something vibrating on my clit was more inappropriate than war.