Ramming w/ Fergus: Budget cuts

Q. How do you and your community/flock feel about science budget cuts? Despite Massey science students admiring sheep? 

Ah yes, finally an intellectual question.  

I have heard through the grapevine of paddock mates about these ‘science budget cuts’ and I am not a happy ram. I have had many Massey science students spend their research money tracking me down, photographing me, studying me. I am a rare ram, my sexual abilities are like no other, and they need to be studied at length. But with science budget cuts, how will the students ever learn the true secret to how to ram like Fergus? 

I have had many post-sex discussions with the sheep about this issue. High off a Fergus induced orgasm, they don’t seem to care too much. But after it wears off (which takes up to 48 hours) they come to be panicked, asking “Fergus, how will we teach the other rams to ram like you if the students can’t study your craft?”  

 
Q. As a famous celebrity sheep scientist, do you feel exploited by the conflicting social/intellectual/financial culture wars currently plaguing Massey University? 

These sophisticated questions are making me hard. Call me a famous celebrity sheep scientist one more time. 

I think exploited is the wrong word to use here. I feel like a trough becoming frozen over in the winter. Massey is too hot to be poor. I am too hot to be poor. I have become used to indulging myself. A trip to see the sheep on the Albany or Wellington campus? Only a $1000 national pet cargo flight away. A new sex toy for a magnificent sheep to enjoy? It’s on Massey.  

But now, you expect me to tell my glorious flock that they will have to share? Well, that's just plain unsanitary, and not in the way I like it. Oh, when will this plague end Massey gods?!