April 30, 2018
Issue 4 2018
The Unlonely Woman

The Unlonely Woman - Issue 4

Growing up we are always taught how a man cums, but I swear no sex-ed class taught me how to get myself off let alone taught people how to get me off. It was like once I got to the age of becoming intimate with men they had no idea what the fuck they were doing. It was like they thought they could just make me orgasm by clicking their fingers. That really ain’t the case. Every woman is different with their orgasm. One thing that works with one-woman ain’t gonna work with the next.

Faking orgasms? Do they happen or is this just myth? Do woman actually fake an orgasm, and if so why? Hell, I even had one of my flatmates ask me if it’s true or not. 

I literally more or less faked every orgasm I had up until the age of 24. Yes, there were some here and there, but they weren’t great. I feel like I have probably faked maybe 50. It’s like the guy would ask me if I orgasmed and I would just look them straight in the eye and say “yes”. Hell, I even got a good moan locked in. I mean I feel like my faking orgasm skills could get me an Academy Award. I remember my last faked orgasm like it was just the other day. I was dating this guy and I remember this one night we had sex and I was bored out of my brain. I just wasn’t enjoying it like my head can only go back and forth so much before I want to watch the next Kardashian episode. Long story short I got that good moan going and I faked seven orgasms. Why? Because this dude was trying so hard and I felt for his ego. Like he thought he was the man after I told him I “orgasmed” seven times.

But here’s the thing I stopped. Why? Because I thought me faking an orgasm is not going to help any of these guys. Like what the fuck am I teaching them? I literally would sacrifice an actual orgasm all for the ego of a man. Like whaaaaat? So, after this I swore to myself that at 21 I would never fake another orgasm again. Jokes on me I didn’t have sex for another two years.

But when I started having sex again last year I did not go back to faking. The man had to work for this shit. I mean once you know what gets someone off it becomes easier. It’s weird though because every guy I’ve been with since last year actually gives a fuck about my orgasm. They generally want me to orgasm. It’s just like do men get to a certain age where they aren’t selfish in bed? Don’t get me wrong not all men are like this. But I have nothing else to base it off apart from my friends and my own stories and I’m sorry, but the stats aren’t great.

So, what is my conclusion? Stop faking an orgasm. Ain’t no good coming from it ever. I mean what if you marry this dude you’ve been faking with or end up being in a long as relationship and you don’t get to orgasm once? I’m sorry but sis that is not something I can live without. Now second of all, men, don’t be selfish. Even in a one-night stand. Don’t just rub your hands together and think boom orgasm done. Because sir it does not work like that at all. A vagina is like a rubix cube but once you know what works you can solve that shit quick smart. Like this shit can be done. Just pay attention to them and you’ll get there.

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